The Blog

The Questioning and Second Guessing Needs to Stop

To my fellow parents, remember: you don't need to follow the crowd. You don't need to go with what one doctor says. You don't need to abide by the book that everyone swears by.
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This morning I just so happened to come across two articles on the importance of co-sleeping.

Yesterday I read a blog on why parents should let their baby cry it out.

Likewise, I've seen several pictures and posts floating around social media on protecting the rights of breastfeeding mothers.

This morning I got a call (as did every parent in my children's school district) about the threat of a bomb.

Most recently I am seeing a rise of home schooling and reading that research shows why it is "more beneficial" to do so.

We are seeing more and more of mothers leaving the work place to start their own endeavors from home, a lot of the time criticized for following their heart while putting forth such effort to make these opportunities provide for their family.

We live under the impression that the majority of us never slip a bad word in front of our children nor have arguments with our spouse or significant other in front of them either.

Here's the thing...

We have co-slept with two of our babies and two we did not.

I have had times where I have let my babies cry it out and times I have not.

I have breastfed all of my children (hell, I've been pregnant or breastfeeding the past nine years of my life), but my children aren't "smarter" or any more immune to things that my fellow phenomenal mothers that bottle fed. That was just my personal choice and what worked for our family.

The bomb threat over night I'm sure was a practical joke, but we live in such a sick world with complete wack jobs and troubled children that I made the call to keep my children at home (doesn't make me a more concerned, loving parent than the other parents that did choose to send their children to school).

As a teacher for a decade I see pros and cons of home schooling but think that children are thriving in both environments.

I also happen to be that mother that began her fake job working from home, the one that retired me from teaching at age 31 that everyone told me would never work. I needed an income. I needed to be with my babies. So I made it happen.

However, thank God that we have the forces of nature who rock the work place because without these women, where would we be?

Working mother, stay-at-home mother, entrepreneur mother -- you're all super stars.

I consider myself completely devoted to my faith in God and sing His praises daily. However, I am not going to lie that I don't have a potty mouth at times, and I can't deny that it has slipped in front of my children.

Yes, my husband and I greatly value the responsibility we were given as parents and never want to go against the rule book but yes, we have argued in front of our children. I'm not stepping up to take my bow that we've done so, but it's life... it has happened. But my children also have watched us make up and come to agreements and resolutions.

That's the great thing about this thing called "parenting"... if we all did it the same, if we all trusted every piece of "experts'" advice... if we all did what the "#1 rated book" told us to do and didn't do what was best for U.S.... if we went against what our gut told us to do... if we succumbed to what society thought was most practical and "reasonable"...

Well then we'd be raising some uniformed robots.

We have four children who have the same biological parents, who are disciplined the same, loved the same, and brought up with the same beliefs and morals, however, as much as they are alike, they are COMPLETELY different.

What worked for one of them, didn't work for the other. Each of our children have/do/will benefit from different opportunities and thrive from different "coaching," prompting, mentoring.

To my fellow parents, remember: you don't need to follow the crowd. You don't need to go with what one doctor says. You don't need to abide by the book that everyone swears by.

You know your child better than any other individual on this planet. We give a large portion of ourselves, if not all of ourselves, day in and day out, praying to God we make the right decisions for our kids.

And you know what, that's all we CAN do. Give yourself a pat on the back. Know that even though you may not feel like it, you're a rock star, you're incredible, and you have kept your little one(s) alive and thriving for another day (even if it's solely on love...that is what they need most...)

So basically... you are doing a pretty damn good job no matter where you fall in the above.

Signed,
The Exhausted Mother of Four who sometimes feels she is "doing it all wrong" but maybe that means we're actually doing it right?! But will keep on a truckin' anyways... because that's what we do... we ... are... Gladiators.✌🏻️

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