As noted thinker Simon Sinek teaches, the "why" is everything. Humans are undeniably moved by certain things - and it's a unique phenomena for each of us.
When I ask myself why I design family time. That's easy. I love the experience of togetherness. I love deeply knowing my husband and my kids and feeling known by them. There is an unconditional bond that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Plus it's fun and entertaining to have inside jokes only people in the family would know.
When I ask why I work at my job. That's easy too. As a coach, I love the experience of being able to help someone. I love being able to hear something nobody else can, and make a connection that provides more freedom for my clients. I love the sense of fulfillment we get as a team when we plan to meet a goal and we meet it. Again, it's fun and exciting.
Then I think about why I make money...
And d'oh! No deep yummy answer there. Because I have to? I'd be upset if I didn't have any?
To feel secure? Because I'm afraid of what would happen if I didn't have enough?
Why is it so easy to have a love affair with certain areas of life and not others? I don't know many people who have a love affair with their money, but I bet a major reason is that most people aren't drilling down on the WHY!
If I ask myself enough times why I care about making money, the truth goes a lot deeper than security: I want power.
I want the power to design amazing experiences for myself and the people I love. Right after that, I have dreams about how to redesign the whole world. The more money I have, the more I can influence the causes I care most about: justice, equality and the sustainability of our planet.
When I have clients write their money dreams, they often start out sounding quite stale, like mine. Like me, they use words like "security" and "enough." It's not the truth of "why" for them, any more than it is for me. It's just that we're not trained to think very deeply about this area.
When I drill deeper I find out what people care about underneath that first layer, and it's almost always one or more of the following:
- Providing special experiences for themselves and the people they love
- Being able to influence causes that are dear to them
- Leaving a legacy in honor of what they believe in
Do you recognize yourself in any of these? Leave a comment and tell me which apply to you.
We get so busy trying to make money, save it, spend it wisely - that we lose sight of the reason behind all of it! How long has it been, if ever, that you asked your heart to chime in regarding money matters?
When you are present to the likely sweetness and purity of your ultimate dream for making money, you can get to work correcting patterns of bad thinking and bad behavior in a more light-hearted manner. And when you change your mindset, you'll find that you can make more money and feel better about it too!
Don't believe me? Come to my tele-talk Change Your Mind About Money and learn how to stop sabotaging yourself and start attracting money-happily and proudly! If you're local to the New York City area, I'm teaching a great FREE workshop at the Centre for Social Innovation on the same subject. Shout out to all underearners, over-spenders, workaholics, spendthrifts, penny-pinchers: come receive a reality check about your relationship to money - one that you can cash immediately!