The Scarlet G: Growing Up With Gay Parents

Close-up of women holding hands
Close-up of women holding hands

I was 12 years old when I found out that my mother is gay. It was not more than a year after my parents (mother and father) were divorced when she sat me down at that old kitchen barstool and asked me what I would think if she told me that her and her best friend, Shellie, were "more than just friends." Little did I know at that moment that my perceptions on life would now be changed forever.

Soon after that symbolic conversation, Shellie moved in with me and my mother. I thought it was pretty cool and something that made my life unique, but I wasn't really sure how to describe it to others. All of my friends at the time had the traditional family dynamic -- a mother and a father. A few years went by and I still didn't know how to explain to my friends the relationship that my mother had entered. (At that time, gay marriage was not as prevalent as it is today.) Like most teenagers, by the time I entered high school I acquired that "I-don't-give-a-flying-hoot" attitude and finally started telling my friends that my mom is "gay." Most people didn't understand and just kept quiet, but that was not the extent of it. Others acted as if they felt bad for me. They said "It must be weird" or "I'm sorry" or they even threw out the "S word." Sin.

I started to catch on pretty quickly. The more open and honest I was with my mother's relationship preference, I was slapping her on the chest with a scarlet letter G. Naturally, people judged and I heard what they had to say. "The Bible says that it is a sin," they told me. I have even heard from some Christian extremists that being gay will send one to Hell.

Now, if we are talking "Bible," doesn't Jesus forgive all those who have sinned? Aren't all sins created equal and no sin is fouler than another? I want to refer to John 8: 1- 11 when Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought him a woman who committed the act of adultery. They had convicted her and asked Jesus if they should move forward and stone the woman as the law decrees. Then Jesus replied, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." At that response, the people had walked away one by one leaving only Jesus standing with the woman.

The interesting part about that whole verse is the ending. Jesus forgave the woman for her sin and let her walk. His response to the people was to be inferred that no sin is greater than another. Religion is such a touchy topic to discuss, which is probably why we as humans try to steer clear of the controversy and avoid thinking about it all together. I didn't realize having these two amazing women in my life would compel me do the complete opposite. Love sets no boundaries and Jesus is understanding. Everyone should know that.

Growing up with gay parents may not be as dramatic as an episode of Days of Our Lives, but it did throw some hurdles my way. I had to learn how to explain my perspective to my friends and family. Not only that, I had to learn how to demonstrate acceptance and what it means to our society. Introspectively, I grew up pretty fast.

Looking back now, I have never felt luckier. I have two courageous, tenacious, and able women who have sculpted me into the woman I am today. I was raised to be strong and compassionate in my endeavors. I graduated high school and college with honors, and now I am now on my way to my first master's degree. While doing all of this I somehow managed to save enough money to buy my first home at the age of 22. I have them to thank for all of this. As unconventional as it may seem, I like to consider myself rewarded in the eyes of God; for he has blessed me with two wonderful mothers when some people adversely may not have one.

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