Are you tired of your dead-end, go-nowhere job? Would you like an opportunity to see the world and flex your dormant writing muscles? Then you may be just the candidate we're looking for at The Sean Penn School of Journalism™!
At The Sean Penn School of Journalism™, our esteemed faculty of cultural dilettantes will teach you how to:
- Feed your overweening narcissism
- Secretly interview dangerous wanted criminals
- Write for magazines that glorify dangerous wanted criminals
- Pose with and hug dangerous wanted criminals
- Give editorial control over your articles to dangerous wanted criminals
- Make future movies with dangerous wanted criminals
- Write sentences like "...unlike many of his counterparts who engage in gratuitous kidnapping and murder, El Chapo is a businessman first, and only resorts to violence when he deems it advantageous to himself or his business interests" without laughing
To join The Sean Penn School of Journalism™, all you have to do is:
- Star in and/or direct a lot of movies
- Win two Academy Awards as Best Actor
- Have sex with and/or marry Madonna, Robin Wright, Scarlett Johansson, and/or Charlize Theron
- Be or resemble Sean Penn
If you have the guts and the cosmic-shattering ego, The Sean Penn School of Journalism™ is waiting for you! **
** Se habla espanol!