10:07 p.m.
Ladeezman42: yo
Ladeezman42: u ther dude?
Kickass43: yeh
Kickass43: so wat?
Ladeezman42: u talkin 2 me?
Kickass43: y dya care?
Kickass43: thot U wernt tokkin 2 ME...
Ladeezman42: man im ALWYS talkin 2 u
Ladeezman42: ur still tha main man
Ladeezman42: & I prechiated yr wrds
Ladeezman42: in last wk's SOTU
Ladeezman42: wen u sed "my ol man's 2 favrite ppl--me & Bill Clinton"
Ladeezman42: man dat took guts
Ladeezman42: bet ur bro jeb wuz surprizd
Kickass43: dude dats y I sed it
Kickass43: u & my ol man r like BFs
Kickass43: all my freakin life I'm like:
Kickass43: wot do I gotta do 4 my ol man 2 like me bttr than jeb??
Kickass43: he sez: stop bein a badass
Kickass43: so I stop bein a badass
Kickass43: bcome 2-term prez...
Kickass43: drink nuffin strongr than a freakin buckler...
Kickass43: evn on 9/11...
Kickass43: & whose his biggst BFL now...?
Kickass43: U!!
Kickass43: biggst badass EVER
Kickass43: sux
Ladeezman42: so y u tell tha world
Ladeezman42: if it sux so much?
Kickass43: cuz it pisses jeb
Kickass43: & sides tha ol man told me 2 thank u
Kickass43: 4 all tha katrina stuff
Kickass43: blah blah blah
Ladeezman42: sry dude
Ladeezman42: but we're still buds rite?
Kickass43: :-/
Ladeezman42: I need u man!!
Kickass43: thot u didn't
Kickass43: now dat hllry's soooo outta tha race 4 '08
Kickass43: ur badass is safe
Kickass43: no need 2 make me look gd no mor
Kickass43: u gotta go help ur old bud gore
Kickass43: he's tha moveon.org king now
Ladeezman42: wat a joke
Ladeezman42: tha only reason dat dude's still walkin
Ladeezman42: is cuz he's solar-powerd by dat bald spot on his hed
Ladeezman42: at nite they gotta tuck his robotic ass away
Ladeezman42: save on batteries
Kickass43: lol
Ladeezman42: glad I can still make u laff bud
Ladeezman42: cuz I gotta big problem
Ladeezman42: mayb u can help
Ladeezman42: yr ol man cuddnt...
Ladeezman42: kno ur busy
Ladeezman42: wit mddle east blowin up etc.
Kickass43: uh yeh
Kickass43: kinda
Kickass43: u didn't help
Kickass43: standin by tha islamo nutbars
Kickass43: pilin on r danish buds
Kickass43: wat u say agen?
Kickass43: like thos cartoons r "ttlly outrajus"
Kickass43: like ur "appalld"
Kickass43: like THANX
Ladeezman42: dude!!
Ladeezman42: I wuz in QATAR!!!
Ladeezman42: wat wuz I gonna say?!
Ladeezman42: "The cartoon portraying Mohammed as a terrorist was amusing satire"
Ladeezman42: rite
Kickass43: u cudda puntd it
Kickass43: u didn't hav 2 ttlly dis tha danes
Ladeezman42: danes gonna do fine
Ladeezman42: its all gonna blow ovr
Ladeezman42: they'll torch a few embassies
Ladeezman42: flip a few cars
Ladeezman42: den tha mobs'll get bored
Ladeezman42: like they did in paris
Kickass43: wat bout tha boycott?
Ladeezman42: like y r tha danes so worried bout a muslim boycott?
Ladeezman42: ther top xports r booze, porno & bacon
Ladeezman42: man I can up my consumption of all 3
Ladeezman42: & personally offset tha lost mrkt
Kickass43: man heres wat I don't get
Ladeezman42: wat
Kickass43: y do these crazy dudes protest being caricatchurd as terrorists...
Kickass43: by threatenin mor terrorism??
Kickass43: like duh
Kickass43: "hey mo, let's show up at tha demo dressd as suicide bombrs!"
Kickass43: "let's find danish ppl & cut dem in2 pieces!!"
Ladeezman42: dunno
Ladeezman42: sum ppl hav no self-control I ges
Ladeezman42: which reminds me
Ladeezman42: I NEED ur help wit sumpin!!
Kickass43: ?
Ladeezman42: k so its v-day nxt wk rite?
Kickass43: uh oh
Kickass43: frgot
Kickass43: :-[
Ladeezman42: ur a happly married man
Kickass43: til nxt wk
Ladeezman42: rite
Ladeezman42: & I had PLANS
Ladeezman42: suite @ 4 seasons
Ladeezman42: champagne/ flowers/ chocolates
Ladeezman42: rez @ smokin hot restaurant
Kickass43: wow!
Kickass43: all this 4 hill?
Kickass43: how long u 2 bin hitchd?!
Ladeezman42: not HLLRY!
Ladeezman42: :-O
Ladeezman42: man dis wuz 4 my GF
Ladeezman42: or shud I say my GF 2 b
Kickass43: o
Kickass43: ;-)
Ladeezman42: so dis is my PROBLEM
Ladeezman42: like hill calls
Ladeezman42: she's all kissy kissy
Ladeezman42: "So what r we doin for v-day hon?"
Ladeezman42: xoxoxoxo
Ladeezman42: I'm like scratchin my hed
Ladeezman42: I DON'T REMEMBER spendin v-day wit her
Ladeezman42: like not 4 tha past decade
Ladeezman42: xept post-monica
Ladeezman42: had 2 buy her a negligee...
Ladeezman42: champagne/flowers/chocolates
Ladeezman42: all dat shit
Kickass43: yeh yeh
Ladeezman42: then tha litebulb goes on
Ladeezman42: man she's in troubl
Ladeezman42: real T-R-O-U-B-L
Ladeezman42: so she's cozyin up 2 me 2 pls tha base
Ladeezman42: she wants dat lovey-dovey photo-op wit dear ol bill
Kickass43: heck she needs u man
Kickass43: dat "plantashun" speech
Kickass43: like look who thinks she's a brother
Ladeezman42: who dya think fed her dat line?
Kickass43: ?
Ladeezman42: ME!
Ladeezman42: dat wuz bttr than tha "stay home & bke cookies"
Ladeezman42: she aint nvr gonna recover from dat
Ladeezman42: "Sure hon. Gr8 line! Make sure u use it!"
Ladeezman42: warner can run it on a loop durin tha convenshun
Ladeezman42: but its ricochetd bad
Ladeezman42: cuz now she needs me again
Ladeezman42: & I did NOT book a table 4 2 at Del Posto 2 share wit hllry!
Ladeezman42: so wat am I gonna do??
Ladeezman42: ur a married man!
Ladeezman42: tell me!
Ladeezman42: SOS!
Kickass43: dats tuff
Kickass43: dunno
Kickass43: bin a LONG time since I spent v-day wit a GF
Kickass43: & u kno laura
Kickass43: she's happy wit take-out
Ladeezman42: wantd 2 ask yer ol man
Ladeezman42: but he's not cool wit tha GF
Ladeezman42: he'd tell me 2 spend it wit hllry
Ladeezman42: dya kno wat hllry wants 2 do?
Kickass43: dude I don't lissen in on EVRYBODY
Ladeezman42: k get this
Ladeezman42: she's snagged sum donor's plane
Ladeezman42: wants 2 wing down 2 littl rok
Ladeezman42: "jus tha 2 of us"
Ladeezman42: hav sum bbq at r ol' roadside joint
Ladeezman42: c tha "old haunts"
Ladeezman42: "re-ignite tha magic"
Kickass43: ew
Ladeezman42: xactly
Ladeezman42: meanwile I cud b wit a supermodel
Ladeezman42: sloshin bak krug
Ladeezman42: in my sweet suite
Ladeezman42: man!
Ladeezman42: do I LOOK like I still eat BBQ?
Kickass43: rlly sry man
Kickass43: cant help u
Kickass43: havent been there
Kickass43: but kno how u feel
Ladeezman42: how can u kno??
Ladeezman42: u jus sed u nvr bin ther
Kickass43: yeh but chicks r always stoppin me from wat I want 2 do
Kickass43: they alwys reckin plans
Ladeezman42: I kno dat
Ladeezman42: but U??!
Ladeezman42: gimme jus 1 example church boy
Kickass43: k
Kickass43: so these islamo nutbars r flippin out rite?
Kickass43: like we were jus sayin
Ladeezman42: uh huh
Kickass43: tha riots hav SYRIA all ovr em
Kickass43: theyr burnin tha frog flag in damascus
Kickass43: not jus tha danes
Kickass43: wats dat bout rite?
Ladeezman42: yr point...?
Kickass43: it's all bout syria!
Kickass43: theyr at it again!!
Kickass43: so I sez 2 condi:
Kickass43: lets jus take these dudes out once & 4 all
Kickass43: man theyr so TINY
Kickass43: not like iran rite?
Kickass43: lets jus take em out
Kickass43: BAM!
Ladeeman42: u mean take out SYRIA?
Kickass43: yeh
Kickass43: y not?
Ladeezman42: uh becuz its like a HOLE country??
Kickass43: u mean a shit-hole country
Kickass43: condi's like: that's not a good idea rite now sir.
Kickass43: I'm like: so when?
Kickass43: & condi's like: not now.
Kickass43: & I'm like PLS
Kickass43: & she's like: I'm not ready to go that far yet.
Kickass43: & I'm like, so wen will u b?
Kickass43: & she's like, I dunno.
Kickass43: it's sooooo frustratin!!!
Ladeezman42: feel ur pain bud
Ladeezman42: tho I nvr wantd 2 take out a country
Ladeezman42: jus a hot babe
Kickass43: o dats rite
Kickass43: frgot ur "aspirin factry man"
Kickass43: boo hoo!
Kickass43: I mite hit sum1!!
Ladeezman42: hey don't knock it
Ladeezman42: lets c u b mr. popular wen u leave office
Kickass43: tooshay
Kickass43: so wat u gonna do re hllry?
Ladeezman42: *sigh *
Ladeezman42: dunno
Ladeezman42: mayb u can get me a rez at tha hottest restaurant in copenhagen...?
Ladeezman42: send me ovr as a spechul envoy
Ladeezman42: "heal tha wounds"....?
Kickass43: sry
Kickass43: ur 2 late
Kickass43: where dya think my ol man wants 2 take my ma?
Ladeezman42: :-(
Kickass43: hey heres a plan
Kickass43: helps me 2
Kickass43: dems bin pushin 4 a WH briefin on this NSA crap
Kickass43: y don't I invite sum top senators 2 a "supersecret" briefin at tha WH on...oh...say Feb 14?
Ladeezman42: :-)
Ladeezman42: bout 7 p.m.?
Kickass43: done
Ladeezman42: wat bout laura?
Ladeezman42: it IS v-day
Ladeezman42: how u gonna hav a romantic dinner wit senators hangin in ur crib?
Kickass43: no problemo
Kickass43: harry can do tha briefin
Ladeezman42: miers?
Kickass43: she'd luv it
Kickass43: & it wd serve those dem senators rite
Kickass43: sides she'd jus b hangin round laura & I on v-day
Kickass43: complainin souter hasn't calld
Ladeezman42: lemme tell u sumpin bout chicks
Ladeezman42: they CARE bout v-day
Kickass43: nah
Kickass43: not laura
Kickass43: she's cool
Kickass43: she don't xpect no candles & "luv u 4ever" stuff
Ladeezman42: ur rong
Ladeezman42: they ALL do
Ladeezman42: no matter wat they say
Ladeezman42: they want tha teddy bear floral arrangemnts...
Ladeezman42: & sumpin dat sparkles
Kickass43: rlly??
Ladeezman42: rlly
Ladeezman42: sumpin dat'll blind her in tha sun
Kickass43: hmm
Kickass43: well I WUZ gonna get her dat 4 her birthday...
Kickass43: but mayb ur rite
Kickass43: cd do it 4 v-day
Ladeezman42: is it rlly rlly big?
Kickass43: it's HUGE man
Kickass43: it's a nu brush saw
Ladeezman42: um
Ladeezman42: wuz thinkin sumpin mor in tha bling dept...
Kickass43: nah
Kickass43: I KNO she'll prefer tha brush saw
Ladeezman42: ok
Ladeezman42: ur tha boss
Ladeezman42: I'll b toastin u wit bubbly from gotham
Kickass43: u btter b bud
Kickass43: u owe me big time now
Ladeezman42: :-*
Kickass43 has left the chat.
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