The Secrets To Flirting and Meeting Men In The Real World

Man and woman smiling at each other
Man and woman smiling at each other

Approaching men in real life can feel pretty scary, but it's a lot easier than you think once you know how.

Flirting starts with not being attached to any outcome.

You want to go into this with the mindset of having fun meeting someone new and interesting in the real world.

And if it goes somewhere, great.

If it doesn't, don't get discouraged.

Instead, think of it as having had the opportunity to practice a new dating skill.

The art of flirting is about giving men a signal you are safe to approach.

The first thing you want to do is make eye contact and smile.

This displays a feeling of warmth and friendliness, making it easier for a man to approach you.

To get his attention, you'll want to ask him a question.

Most restaurant bars have televisions tuned into sports.

Sports are an easy icebreaker because you can always ask something about football, baseball, or basketball based on what's on the big screen.

Other questions you can ask men are...

  • What do you recommend here to eat?

  • What's that wine you're drinking?
  • That looks amazing, would you mind sharing what that is on the menu?
  • You want to keep your questions open ended, which means staying away from yes and no questions that can stall out a conversation before it ever gets started.

    Once things get rolling, you can extend your hand and say, "Hi, I'm Lisa."

    He'll extend his and say, "Hi, I'm Mike."

    Use his name often in the conversation. People love hearing their name.

    A really easy way to do this is by complimenting him...."Oh Mike, you have the most gorgeous blue eyes."

    Men love flattery as much if not more than women do, so genuinely compliment him when you can.

    While the two of you are talking, you'll want to continue the art of flirting by laughing at his jokes, by leaning in when he speaks or by lightly touching him on the arm or hand from time to time.

    Also feel free to use light sarcasm that is playful about you, him or the two of you.

    It's important to keep reading "the vibes" that are happening during all of this.

    If you find you're only getting one-word answers... it's likely he's not interested.

    But if he engages, talks and compliments you, you've begun a connection.

    You've been having a good time and you'd love if he asked for your phone number.

    Here are a couple of ways you can make that happen without appearing too forward.

    If he asks what you do, pull out your business card and say, "Here's what I do, Mike."

    This is a very subtle way of giving him your number without being too obvious about it and if he's interested, he'll give you a call.

    You can also let him know how much you liked meeting and talking with him.

    Then add, "I would really enjoy having the chance to continue learning more about you."

    Again, you're showing him its safe to ask you for your phone number.

    Let's say during your time together, you've been talking about spots around town or new restaurants.

    You can always relate back to this topic by saying something like, "If you ever find a place you enjoy, let me know."

    This is another subtle way to get him to ask for your number.

    Now here's a fun way to get his number.

    You can ask him a question like, "Do you eat out every night or do you cook for yourself?"

    Once he answers, ask him, "What's your favorite thing to cook?"

    When he tells you what it is you can say, "I have an amazing recipe for that, would you like it?"

    If he says yes, you can say, "How about I text it to you when I get home. What's your number?"

    A little more forward but not super aggressive.

    Go out and use what I've shared with you today about flirting.

    I've had private clients meet great men in the real world doing this. You can too!

    I'd love to hear how you feel about flirting and what's worked for you.

    Just post your comments by clicking the button below.

    Lisa Copeland is known as the expert on over 50's dating. She's the best-selling author of The Winning Dating Formula For Women Over 50 and her mission is to help as many women around the world as she can discover how to have fun dating and finding their Mr. Right after 50. To get your FREE Report, "5 Little Known Secrets To Find A Quality Man," visit