The Xbox may soon have an X-rated cousin.
A Silicon Valley company is trying to build an adult-oriented video game system called the SexBox, as evidenced by a recently uncovered trademark application. The SexBox, reports indicate, would feature a custom console and series of interactive adult-only games.
We here at eSarcasm think this is a fantastic idea -- so much so that we've decided to help the SexBox crew get things going. We've come up with 10 X-rated games for the sex-centric system. They're all based on popular titles from the (nonpenetration-related) video gaming world, and we think they're all pretty damned good.
Here's hoping these come soon, so to speak, to a SexBox near you.
1. No Need For Speed
In this game, going faster won't get you a ribbon; it'll get you an eye-roll and a half-hearted, "It's okay, honey. Really."
2. Panty Raider
Score with Lara Croft to score serious points. Be careful, though: She's packing serious heat. And not the inviting kind.
3. Wii Fit: Booty Balance
takes on a whole new meaning in this triple-X edition. Use the special booty balance board to master as many tantric challenges as you can without bruising your point total.
Chase the tail and see how many cheeks your little guy can gobble up! Available in both classic and "Ms. Ass-man" editions.
5. Dragon Balls
The first-ever virtual HJ challenge. Do you have what it takes to make the dragon balls erupt?
6. Final Fantasy: S&M Dungeon
Journey into an S&M dungeon where one wrong safe-word could make this fantasy your last.
7. Mega Man 8"
A game in which every inch counts. Think your hardware will measure up?
Forget the pencil-based drawings in
-- in the X-rated edition, the "writing" is done with a very special "instrument."
9. Crash Bandicooch
Rescue the lovely Tawna and you'll soon be navigating
10. Wonky Dong
Donkey Kong's got nothin' on this all-night bedroom challenge with an extremely
limp twist. Can you keep her happy when your dong gets wonky?
For more Geek Humor Gone Wild, visit eSarcasm. You'll be glad you did.
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