Just days away from Christmas and the end of the year, so many of us are looking to 2017 and what we may want to set as goals or New Year’s Resolutions.
It’s challenging to set clear, concise and measurable goals. So most people create vague resolutions that are difficult to achieve with no truly defined success measures. Not being able to celebrate small progress can lead to apathy, and could ultimately do more long term harm than good.
That’s why this December I’ve covered two typical New Year’s resolution don’ts: the first week I shared alternatives to typical resolutions, “be more positive” and, “enjoy life to the fullest.” The second week of December I provided more realistic resolutions than, “spend more time with family,” and “manage stress better.”
Now that you’re all caught up for the month, let’s dive into two more New Year’s resolution “don’ts” and look at what New Year’s resolutions you should make instead.
New Year’s resolution don’t: Improve your relationships
New Year’s resolution do: Get on the forgiveness train
Ultimately, improving your relationships improves your satisfaction in life, but simply stating you want to improve your relationships leaves so many variables in the hands of others, and can ultimately still leave you dissatisfied.
The one thing you can control is how much forgiveness you show. So, choo, choo! It’s time to board the forgiveness train because you aren’t hurting anyone but yourself by holding onto anger and resentment.
Anne Lamott suggests in Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith, “Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.”
Moreso, it is sometimes easier to forgive someone else than it is to (really) forgive yourself. So set out to work on showing yourself grace for things like making a bad financial decision, entering into the wrong relationship, eating too much over the weekend or whatever you beat yourself up over, then continue to make bad decisions to “punish yourself.”
Start wholly and completely loving yourself, and see how it becomes easier to move past those demons to make way for achieving your future resolutions for years to come.
New Year’s resolutions don’t: travel more
New Year’s resolutions do: Prepare to take your dream trip
Making a resolution to travel more can take you many places. However, if you truly want to travel abroad, for example, simply saying you want to travel more can lead you to the same tired vacation spot you’ve gone to since childhood, and you still can reach your goal of “more” travel.
Instead, prepare to take your dream trips. Be expectant. Take action as if your desired trips are without question going to become a reality. Do you want to travel the world with your family? Get your passports. Start learning the language together.
When you take your dreams seriously and actually believe through action that they can become a reality, you can start getting in a habit that will make an ambiguous “travel more” resolution turn into actual life-changing experiences.
What are your New Year’s resolutions?
So, am I on point? Do either of these resolutions resonate with you? What would you add to the conversation? Let me know in the comments!