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The Strip Diary, Day Thirty Two: The Last of the Vegas Hotel Reviews, in Haiku Form

32 nights in 32 hotels; the finish line is so close I can almost bite it. Just one night still to go, at the Mandarin Oriental, and my month-and-a-bit in Las Vegas will be over.
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32 nights in 32 hotels; the finish line is so close I can almost bite it. Just one night still to go, at the Mandarin Oriental, and my month-and-a-bit in Las Vegas will be over.

Of course, technically speaking I've failed in my stated goal: to stay a single night in every hotel on the Las Vegas Strip. For reasons I've already written about -- and talked about -- at length, I skipped out of the Palazzo, replacing my night there with one at the M Resort. I mean, I could argue a technicality: the Venetian (where I did stay) and the Palazzo share a check in and booking process, and an entrance, so technically I could argue that they're the same hotel. But I won't. I don't care. What I care about is that I made it through 33 nights, staying a single night at a different hotel. And I lived to tell the tale.

Not only that, but I've enjoyed every second of it. Even during my horrible check-in experience at the Riviera; even during the darkest, unfunniest moment of Criss Angel's show; even during the resulting half-hour phone call from his show's publicist during which she insisted I'd been grossly unfair to Angel -- even during all of that, I haven't once been bored.

On the contrary; venturing downtown, visiting museums, meeting the mayor, playing video games and eating hotdogs with Tony Hseih, seeing Absinthe for the four hundredth time; every day has brought something interesting to write about and (hopefully) relatively un-dull to read about.

Tomorrow, I'll post my final thoughts on the town, its people and what -- if anything -- any of it can tell us about the state of the world. Before that, though, there's some important business to attend to before I close. And that is of course the last batch of hotel review haiku.

Here, in 5-7-5 syllables, then, are the last of them... (I'll tweet one for Mandarin Oriental tomorrow)

Saturday: Luxor ($120)

It's essentially
A pointy Holiday Inn
But without wifi

Sunday: Monte Carlo ($76)

Underrated gem
With wifi like greased lightning
Made up for Luxor

Monday: Bellagio ($140)

Well appointed room
Fountains never get boring
Unlike the big crowds

Tuesday: Vdara ($109)

Room had a kitchen
But still ordered room service
Which is quite stupid

Wednesday: Aria ($99)

A beautiful room
Best minibar on the strip
Made a video