Big life events certainly make us reflect on life, don't they? Our daughter Mary Ellen got engaged in Paris a few weeks ago (yes, I said Paris. I know, right?!), and I've been doing much reflecting ever since.
And here's why...
Mare's story is one of not settling, of knowing herself, of being authentic and so very patient. And no matter what we want to successfully pursue in life we have to - or at least we should - be all of those things.
But we don't. And we aren't. Why is that?
Pure and simple: FEAR.
Fear of failing, so we don't even apply for the new position.
Fear of being alone, so we settle for someone who treats us badly.
Fear of moving, so we pass up that promotion.
Fear of people seeing who we really are, so we exhaustingly live as a fake.
Overwhelming fear for our children, so we protect them to the point of debilitating them.
I often tell Mare that she knows herself a thousand times better than I did when I was her age. I was married at 20. She won't be married until she is 30. Ten years makes a difference. A huge difference. She knew what kind of person she wanted to marry. Her values were crystal clear. And she was confident in that.
She conquered her fears and stayed true to herself.
Each and every one of us, in leading ourselves, must be true to who we are. No matter our age, no matter our sex, no matter where we live or work or breathe. Whatever our space, we must have the courage to make decisions for ourselves - not what we think someone else wants us to do.
The strongest force in the universe is a human being
living consistently with his or her identity. -Tony Robbins
Mare has done that and in doing so has demonstrated to the world - and to me - the power of being a woman who knows that true, authentic success comes from the inside out.
I keep thinking of something I wrote in Her Corner Office...
"I believe that our values and beliefs serve as the guide for who we are currently and who we will become. It takes courage to be yourself. The world fills us with images and lifestyles of people who are supposedly models of success. But success is personal. To be you, you have to value you. Smart women should take the time to get to know themselves and learn to value who they are."
It DOES take courage to be ourselves. To live authentically. To step out and over fear. And we can each do it. We can. It just takes practice, patience and perseverance. And it takes ignoring what I like to call "the itty-bitty-pity-committee" inside our heads every day.
To say I am proud of my baby girl for sticking to and living out her values and beliefs is an understatement. Because she has done that, she is going to marry a smart, God-fearing man who treats her like a queen.
What more could a mother and father want? Absolutely nothing.
Are you ever in awe of your children? I sure am.