When I first started testosterone, I struggled with doing my shot at home.
There was one day that I was doing my shot and I hit something in my leg that hurt to the point where I had to pull the needle out. I got a bit shaken up. I had only been on hormones for about two months, so it was all still pretty new to me.
When I have trouble, I usually just put on a song and hype myself up to do the shot before the song is over. I make sure that my leg is completely relaxed, along with my mind. I find a good spot and count to three. Then in goes the magic juice.
I used to watch a bunch of trans guys do their shots on Youtube to help build up my courage to inject myself. Even now, being two years on hormones, it still can sometimes take me over 20 minutes to do it.
It's nerve wracking. You go to the doctor to get a shot, close your eyes and feel the small pinch, and then it's over. But with doing the shot yourself, there is no closing your eyes and waiting for it to be done. It's all on you.
I wanted this life so bad that I put my fears aside. Would I rather be depressed and suicidal or give myself a shot and know that the outcome is everything I have ever wanted? Of course I am going to choose making myself happy.
I do my shot once a week and will continue to do it for the rest of my life. The small vial of testosterone has changed my life from dark to light. And I couldn't be happier.