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The Tao of Love, Sex and Anti-Aging -- Part 4

Just because they have hurt you doesn't mean they are your enemy. Rather, they can be our teacher, because this is a world on which every single event that occurs can be a lesson.
08/26/2010 11:45am ET | Updated November 17, 2011
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It's easy to confuse our values in love -- to what we do for a living and or how much money we make.

Part of the attraction to successful, charismatic people is their high self esteem, youthful energy and love affair with life! When you first meet someone like this, part of the process of falling in love is really about how you feel when you are with that person. In the beginning, this is all you have to go on, since there is not the kind of true love that is built over time.

Some people's energies work better with us than others. Some inspire our higher nature; others leave us feeling that we are never good enough. The highest love brings support, acceptance, comfort and nurturing, making light of and finding the humor in the daily challenges of life, rather than taking out your misery on each other.

When your partner has lost interest or if the relationship can't be repaired, then it's time to go. Don't become attached to the one embodiment that you "think" your love source comes from. There are other options everywhere. Don't resist, and don't give your power away by staying in a state of love in spite of whatever your partner (or about to be not-partner) does.

Just because they have hurt you doesn't mean they are your enemy. Rather, they can be our teacher, because this is a world on which every single event that occurs can be a lesson. Our real enemy is the part of our ego that takes things too personally.

The person you are dating can get lost in their world of problems, real or imagined, and then they feel out of control. So, they decide to shut out your flow of love, because that is the one thing they feel they can control.

Sadly, when we feel like shutting love out is when we need it the most, but the fear of being vulnerable can be overwhelming when all the other conditions of life seem unfavorable. We can have the illusion of safety when we say, "I just don't have time for love. It isn't a priority right now. There's just too much going on."

But, because of your higher self esteem, you may represent a kind of mirror that reveals their own hidden lack of esteem, and their need to stay in the illusion that they are the hero and rescuer, not you.

It is really all about feeling in control. That person may need to escape by being with someone who they feel "needs" them, rather than the other way around.

Sometimes we are under the illusion that we are our problems. When we become "bigger" than the so-called problem, we outgrow them. We rise up in consciousness and think our way up and over problems.

It could be the Universe is clearing out the situation because we are now ready to go to the next level of intimacy. Don't think of it as starting all over again; we just pick right up where we left off in our level of consciousness with the next person.

Always trust in the wisdom of the Universe. How many times after getting over a breakup have you looked back and said, "What was I thinking?" That shows how far you have come and how much you have outgrown old way of relating that no longer serve you.

Relationships are for spiritual growth. When you meet a partner that you are in alignment with and it's an easy fit, it can bring a feeling of being reborn to your true reality. This is powerfully described in this quote from a lecture by Charles Lute called "The Sacred Side of Sex":

The energy generated through this male-female union is far greater than anything they can generate separately -- because acting together they are able to draw to themselves a great portion of the cosmic energy that exists around them. This in turn sets every atom into a higher vibration. Also at this time, because of the polarization created around them, an impenetrable barrier to every form of evil that might approach or attack them is established.

Because there is a bioelectrical exchange of energy between two partners there is an intensification of sensitivity in the body, mind and soul. The body becomes sensual, the mind becomes more telepathic and the soul intuitional. This is so because the sexual union unlocks normally unused power shared between the partners. The universe itself is one indivisible matrix of cosmic force and this force is always seeking release or expression through a union of its opposite energies. So it seeks release in a couple who become a channel of discharge for this unique force.