Dating in New York: The Terms of Geographic Undesirability

Think about where you live.
Now think about what areas surround you within a five-mile radius.
Now think about what forms of public transportation surround you.
Factor in whether or not you have a car.
And where your friends live.
And where you work.

These ladies and gentleman are the terms under which most of us determine whether or not someone qualifies as 'Geographically Desirable' when it comes to dating. Truth is, we'd be lying were we to say that the proximity of a prospective date does not play a substantial role in deciding if someone is worth dating.

Lets break it all down. I obviously don't know the terms or conditions under which people operate in different cities and I'm sure it varies from place to place. So for the sake of this discussion, I'm going to focus purely on what I know--NYC.

I live--and work--in midtown, which is fairly equidistant from most locations. However, as aforementioned, as a member of the advertising community, my work hours are often unreasonable (read: I get off work later than many). Since I never know how late I'll end up working and since I usually enjoy some form of social activity post work, I wake up fairly early in the mornings to work out.

Now, lets say for arguments sake that I meet a great guy who lives in Brooklyn. From my apartment, that's a good 45 minutes by train, including at least one transfer. At the beginning of the relationship, the commute for either of us is an inconvenience as there's a lengthy train ride on either end. During the week, this is just a huge pain.

Fast forward a bit to the point at which things have progressed and we're now spending the night at one another's place. What used to be an inconvenience is now just a massive pain in the butt. As is, I wake up hella early and I live right by work. Were I to then have to also factor in a train ride (and no, I don't have a monthly metro card), we're looking at a wake up that's another 45 minutes earlier. In a city like New York, where we're all so strapped for time, who wants to add this complication to their daily schedule and, reduce already limited sleep time even further??

I've spoken with many friends and the degree of geographic undesirability varies greatly from person to person and from gender to gender. Some midtowners won't date above 110 street or below 20th. East siders prefer to commingle with east siders. West siders with west. Some people are more amenable to going crosstown than downtown. Brooklyn will often trump Jersey. Point is, people's parameters are a personal decision. But when it comes time to weigh out a pros vs. cons sheet on a newfound relationship prospect, 9 times out of 10, someone who lives ten blocks away will look a lot more enticing than someone who requires a metro card swipe.

Now, half of you are probably sitting there saying 'This girl doesn't know what she's talking about' while the other half are nodding their heads in complete and utter agreement. So for those of you who are in agreement with me, great. For those who think I'm being ridiculous, so be it! I'm not offended. You do you. Just know that if you live in Brooklyn, I probably won't.