The other day one of my friends asked me why I never write or talk about my marriage publicly.
The answer was easy... Because it's SO private!
As a coach and teacher, I make a daily to choice to be vulnerable and share a lot of my personal life. But, I've always believed that my husband was an off-limits topic.
I signed up for this -- he didn't!
But, what I'm noticing lately is that SO many of my friends and clients are coming to me to talk about relationships!
People are confused in their partnerships.
They feel like their needs aren't being met.
They aren't sure if their partners are right for them.
They may be worried about the future.
They sometimes feel alone, not heard, not taken care
So, with the go-ahead from my husband, it's time for me to share about what I have learned from being in a 10-year relationship.
Relationships are NOT always easy.
Does your partner trigger you? That's normal.
Does your partner say the wrong thing? That's normal.
Do you sometimes wish your partner were different? That's normal.
Do you wonder if it's going to work? That's normal.
Do you judge your partner? That's normal.
Does your partner judge you? Also normal.
Are you now completely different people and you're not sure if it's still right? Yep, normal.
Do you feel like sometimes things are great and sometimes thing are awful? NORMAL!
Not only is it normal for you to be feeling these things sometimes, but the truth is that your partner will likely feel these things too!
Whether we like it or not, we are ALL fed this FAIRY TALE story about relationships our entire lives only to realize that the real work begins when the newness wears off and LIFE starts to happen.
Happily ever after is possible but maybe just not every hour of every day!
Since most of us didn't have PERFECT parents who modeled perfect relationships, we have had to learn to navigate relationships as we go.
You're learning and your partner is learning and we're all just fumbling along until we find our groove.
Since I've found a bit of a groove, I want to share what I've learned.
Here's what no one ever tells you about relationships:
Sometimes your relationship will be INCREDIBLE.
Sometimes it will totally suck.
Sometimes you will feel SO close to your partner.
Sometimes you'll feel really lonely.
Sometimes your LOVE will feel perfect.
Sometimes you'll want to run away.
The bottom line is this: The whole purpose of a SOUL MATE is to help your soul to grow.
That doesn't mean it's always going to be easy.
It does mean that your partner is going to challenge and stretch you.
That's why you've chosen each other.
There will be times when it feels like it's too much.
There will be times when you may want to run.
There will be times when you may be tempted to quit.
But you must remember this.... You've called a partner into your life to help you GROW, to stretch you, to teach you.
Your partner will absolutely, without a doubt, bring up ALL of the wounds, the hurts, and the insecurities you didn't even know you had.
And you'll have a choice --- will you choose to really LOOK deeply within yourself to see why these things are coming up?
You see, your partner is merely polishing all of your rough edges.
Sometimes your lesson is to stay, to learn, to grow and to let yourself be polished.
Sometimes your lesson is to honor your boundaries and walk away in order to be polished.
But the simple question is this.... Is this relationship helping to GROW MY SOUL?
If you want to learn more about approaching relationships from this spiritual perspective and learn how to get along with ANYONE, you can join Julie for her next upcoming virtual course The Illuminated Life, beginning May 1st. You can read more here: http://theilluminatedlife.com