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Healthy Living

Want To Make The Top Tips To Happiness Actually Work?

Why Don’t The Tips Work The Way You Want?

We all want more love, joy and happiness in our lives. We all want to find a pathway that will actually work. What I can’t figure out is why, in answer to our call, we keep getting these long lists of the same tips and tricks, again and again. Somehow as people get more desperate for real and meaningful change, they seem to fall prey to the belief, that maybe, if they hear it just one more time… “Just read it again dude. Maybe this time it will work” What the….?

The thing is, for the most part, the information in these lists is right on the money. “Love yourself more, eat right, create more intimacy, love your inner child, be more positive, do the work you love”. These are all fantastic, and completely valid pathways to real happiness, if...

You can actually do it.

Motivation Frustration

In my practice, (Acupuncture and Empowerment Coaching) my number one challenge has always been patient compliance. Trying to get people to consistently take the herbs, or do the exercises has always been a push. These are the things that can actually provide the relief they want. However, time and time again. they choose not to follow through.

As a practitioner, I’ve always strived to walk my talk. I’ve always tried to do what I thought would support me, but even in doing that, I still wasn’t feeling the happiness, joy, and love that I craved. In my gut, I knew the fulfillment was right there, but somehow, I just couldn’t grab it. As I moved into midlife, I got more and more frustrated. The worse it got, the deeper I looked. The deeper I looked, the more I unearthed about myself and what I eventually discovered shocked me.

Reality Check

I started to see, at an almost subconscious level, that I was doing the same thing as my patients. The crazy thing was, I was completely unaware I was doing it. I thought I was moving towards what I wanted, but in actuality, I was choosing to not take the consistent actions that would give me what I wanted. Yeah, I was doing the meditations, and the introspection work. Yeah, I was doing the work I love, and making money doing it, but that wasn’t the problem.

It was all the little choices that were really biting me in the butt. It was all the small moment by moment, breath by breath, decisions that were really creating my life experience. The choice to let myself get annoyed, or to allow negativity to creep into my life and on, and on.

Now just like everyone else, I’ve heard all the advice, “Be more positive, be more loving, etc”, and though it’s great advice, I still wasn’t applying it. More than that, I couldn’t apply it. It was like my auto pilot was running the show, and it wouldn’t let me make the choices, or take the actions that would ultimately lead to where I wanted to go.

At first, it was a tough pill to swallow because they were of course my own choices. I had to take responsibility for being the creator of my own crazy life and that didn’t feel so good. After all, I thought I was together. I thought I was aware. I thought I was “all that” and to realize the truth of my own disfunction was, to say the least, a little unsettling.

However, even as uncomfortable as it was, I really had no choice but to accept it, and boy was I glad I did. As soon as I started working with it, instead of hiding from it, everything changed.The discomfort that used to make me run, shifted into a powerful tool of transformation. It got me up and moving. It forced me to look, and it created an unstoppable desire to dig.

I turned over rocks and searched the hills. I looked with different eyes. I listened with different ears, but really, the most important thing I did was give myself permission to dig deep into who I really am. I was on a mission. I was committed to the truth, no matter what the consequences. It was hard. It was scary. I felt like an explorer sailing off into the unknown filled with dread of what I might find. Every fiber of my being wanted to turn back, but I didn’t. I stuck with it and before I knew it, I found myself on a seriously crazy ride of transformation. Swept down a rabbit hole with the old me never to be seen again. (yay!). It changed everything. It revealed information. It uncovered pathways. What I learned on that journey became the core of what I am currently sharing.

I know, I know you want to hear more about the rabbit hole. Everyone wants to hear about the rabbit hole. But that, is another story for another day. (more)

The point is, when I came out on the other side, I was different. Better than I was before. I had new vision. I had new understanding. I could finally see exactly how to build the skill to consciously create my life. It became crystal clear how to make the moment by moment choices that would actually give me what I wanted. This was the missing piece I had been looking for all along.

Ah Sweet Clarity

Information is not the issue. It’s solid. The list are good. The problem is that, for a myriad of reasons, people have a really, really hard time taking clear and consistent actions. As good as the information is, they can’t put it into action. This is the story. Creating motivation is where the real work is.

No action, means no success. If you don’t have momentum and strong motivation, you’re not going to take the actions needed to create what you want. It doesn’t matter how good the tool is. If you don’t use it, it won’t work. That’s a simple and undeniable truth.

No Momentum Equals No Success.

So how can you create unstoppable momentum?

Let’s Take A Little Ride

Suppose I asked you to drive a car coast to coast and when you get there, I will give you a “high five”. How does that sound? Four days of driving. A lot of work, and a lot of time for a high five.

Really, try to imagine yourself in that actual situation. Would you be excited about it. Would you feel motivated? Would you jump up and want to leave right away? Probably not. You might procrastinate and put it off for a day or two. As a matter of fact, you might even back out and bag the whole thing. Honestly, no one would blame you. That destination sucks.


What if I told you, that when you get there, I will give you a billion dollars cash. Right there on the spot, as soon as you get out of the car. Bang! A billion dollars. Would that change things up for you a bit? How ya feeling about that four days of driving now? Not too bad right? As a matter of fact you might want to leave right on the spot with just the clothes on your back. I think I can even hear you saying, “Four days? Are you nuts? I am going to drive straight through”.

This is the power of creating a highly attractive destination. It’s not a mystery, it’s not luck. It’s a skill that if you master, will give you access to the incredible power of momentum. The cool thing is, you can consciously create it any time you want. You will, for all intensive purposes, be unstoppable!

Action Step:

Take some time to connect with what you really want. Let yourself soar on this exercise. Have fun,and imagine without limitations. Sky’s the limit. No boundaries.

Write down your dreams, your aspirations, anything and everything. No matter how ridiculous or outrageous. Put it on paper. Do what they call free form. Don’t worry about grammar or spelling or anything else. Just get it all down.

It’s super important to not rush through this. It can be a little challenging to dig in, but take the time to really connect. This is a magic list you’re creating. It’s going to carry you to the life you want. The more powerful your list is, the more powerful your momentum will be. Take your time and do it with conscious intention.

After you finish writing, go back through, and pick out your top five to tens things. Be very clear and intentional with this. You want the most powerful list possible. You want it to feel like that billion dollars at the end of the road trip. You want it to make you lean forward in your chair. You want it to make your mouth water. You want it to make you feel like driving forty-eight hours straight through. You want it to create enough momentum that you will take action “in spite of” fears or limiting beliefs.

Use this list to keep you motivated, moving and on track. Review it daily to prompt consistent and powerful action. If it’s not drawing you to take action, redo it until it does. Done right, this exercise will dramatically increase your willingness to step up, step out, and take the actions that will create what you want. It will move you closer to the life you want and what else is there to say. If it takes you closer to brilliance… you want to do it.

Keep Up The Momentum

I hope you enjoyed the blog. This exercise is the first of several in the Unstoppable Momentum System. If you want to continue building the next step in the system, or more info on the Flow System, go to:


Have fun creating incredible momentum. Remember you are the creator of your own life. Make it a masterpiece!

Mantras For Finding Happiness