The Trump Concession Speech

(Dateline unspecified)

Thank you all for coming. What a crowd. Does Trump draw a huge crowd? The biggest. Well, not if you count Bernie Sanders, but all of those people are socialists -- every one of them. So that doesn't really count, right? I mean, how can you be a socialist. C'mon. Gimme a break.

Anyway, as many of you know by now, the Trump campaign has been a great ride. What a phenomenal ride. But now we're going to pack it up. We didn't lose, though. Trump doesn't lose. I raised some big issues. Issues that no one had been talking about, and I'm very proud of that. I'm very proud of myself. Same as when I forced Obama to show his birth certificate. He wouldn't show it. But Trump got him to show it. And I was greatly honored by that. It was great.

But now do you notice that all these dummies are talking about illegal immigration? That wouldn't have happened without Trump. I mean, did you hear anything about that issue in previous elections? Did you see any legislation being discussed in Washington? Well, okay, maybe you did. But Trump took it to another level. That's what I do.

And the whole women thing. Oh, my God. Do you know how much Trump cherishes women? Just because you call them pigs and dogs and slobs, it doesn't mean you don't cherish them. Where is the logic?

It's really a shame, y'know. If the press had given me a fair shake, this thing might have turned out differently. I mean, yeah, they did cover my helicopter rides for the kids back in Iowa, and some very lovely profiles of my beautiful Melania -- she's a 10 y'know -- and the profiles on my kids. Those profiles were tremendous. Because my kids are tremendous. And so is Melania. She's more like an 11. She's great. By the way, she's got a big heart, too. Huge.

So why didn't it work out? Who knows. We ran a tremendous campaign. And all of the voters who supported me, wonderful people. I love these people. Amazing people. I only wish everyone else could have seen the light the same way. We would have made America great again.

We're not great anymore. I mean, Trump is, but our country isn't. And by the way, the last time we were great was under Ronald Reagan. I mean, I know NBC quoted me from 1987 as saying that the world was laughing at our politicians under Reagan, but there ya go with the press again. I said "our politicians." I didn't say "Reagan." He's just the president. So, y'know, reporters just aren't fair, to be honest with you. Playing on television things I've said publicly.

But we do need that kind of leader again, not the ones that get laughed at, but a leader like Reagan. And I wanted to put everything on hold in the life of Trump and be that leader and make us great again. And by the way, it wouldn't take much. It would be easy. It's just that our leaders are stupid. They're losers. You know my thinking on this. I've been saying it all along. And it catapulted me to the top of all the polls. Huge leads in the polls. Huge. Remember back in August? Tremendous.

Who knows what happened. Everyone asks me what happened, because I had all these people supporting Trump. But I don't know. Maybe it was all of those candidates teaming up on me. Not very nice. And by the way, I was very nice to all of them. Very nice. But maybe they got scared of me. Boy did they all turn ugly on Trump. What're ya gonna do?

Did I make mistakes? I really don't think so. Y'know, maybe I did, but I can't think of any, to tell you the truth. They say they wanted specifics on policy. C'mon. Ya just gotta let me get it done. Don't worry about the details. Or about Congress. Dummies. I told everyone I'd take care of that stuff, by the way. No trust in Trump.

But it's okay. I have a fantastic company to run. An amazing company. And two TV networks just called me about a new show. And don't forget, I own some of the largest, most amazing properties around the world. Turnberry. Carl Icahn visits me there sometimes. Carl's great. Anyway, don't cry for Trump. I spent a few bucks to try to make our country great again and now I'll go back to making more money. I'm worth more than $11 billion now. Like Melania -- an 11. I'm an 11 now. It's the year of 11 for Trump. My team is so tremendous that while I was doing this for the country, they made more money for my company than I spent on the campaign.
That's what we need in Washington. That kind of winning. But that's okay. Trump will have another day.

So anyway, what I really want to do is thank the wonderful people -- the amazing people -- who supported the campaign. Just a tremendous journey. And I'm not going to take questions. I know you'd like for me to take questions, but I've answered enough questions I think. Don't you people think? (applause) See, they all agree with Trump. All these wonderful people agree with Trump. And everybody else wants someone else. Dummies.

Okay, let's get that helicopter revved up. Rides to give somewhere, right? What a ride, riding with Trump. Thank you everybody. Really, I want to thank you. Most of you are phenomenal.