It seems like we've been talking so much lately about some of the problems and issues surrounding love -- cheating, sex rehab, divorce -- that sometimes we forget to talk about what makes a relationship successful. In order to have a successful relationship, you need to fall in love with the most important person in your life.
Do you know who that person is? That person is you.
You can't have a successful relationship, be loyal to someone, and even be a good parent, unless you love yourself. You must be honest with yourself and truly know yourself.
So many people come to me and tell me, "David, I am so sick of being single. I am so frustrated with dating. I hate dating and I hate being single! I wish I could just meet somebody."
Think about those words and what they mean. If you wish that upon yourself, you are going to meet somebody -- somebody who is going to be frustrating, who may cheat on you and someone with whom you are not aligned.
Instead, what you should be saying to yourself is "I love who I am. I am satisfied with who I am. I love my life. Another person is just going to add to that life."
Do you remember in the movie Jerry Maguire when Tom Cruise tells Renee Zellweger, "You complete me?" No, that is all wrong. You should complete yourself. You are a perfect circle all on your own.
Granted, we all have imperfections and things about ourselves we don't like. When you truly accept and love who you are, however, you really are a perfect circle.
When you meet someone, it should be two perfect circles meeting each other. Nobody is ever going to "complete you." You need to complete yourself.
I tell every person who is single to go out and date yourself. Do things that you love. Plan a weekend around things that you love. Take trips to places you love. Read books that interest you.
To meet people, go to places about which you are passionate. That way, you can easily carry on a passionate conversation.
If you are already in a relationship, take a breather for a weekend. Go visit friends or family, or go away by yourself. Go and figure out who you are, what you want, and what your needs and desires are. Do this so you can fulfill those needs and desires, and so you can communicate them to your partner.
Falling in love is wonderful, but falling in love with yourself is essential. Take some time and make some lists -- a list describing who you are, a list describing what you want, and a list describing how you want your life to be.
Spend some time getting deep with the most important person in your life: you. Forget about your partner and the kids for an hour, and get to know yourself again.
If you are single, really take this time to get to know who you are and fall in love with yourself. Do this so that you can attract and meet people who are going to compliment you and add to your life. This is the path to an amazing relationship.
How do I know all of this? I have been coaching people for fourteen years, and I do all of this myself. This is how I live my life, and this is why I am so in love with the woman in my life.