Let's talk about love today.
Real love.
True love.
Not infatuation love.
Not the love that you think you feel immediately.
I'm not going to discredit that at all, but I want to explain what real love really is.
You met somebody, and you fall in love with them right away. You are falling in love, there's no doubt about that.
The words “I love you” that come out of your mouth are true, they're heartfelt.
That's just the beginning.
You see, real love, true love, takes time.
Once you get past the initial “I love you's,” then you really need to look at somebody and say to yourself, alright. Let's see over a period of time how I really truly feel with them.
Recently a friend of mine told me he was in love.
He spent a year and a half with this woman.
The first three months were blissful, as they usually are.
But then during the last part of the relationship, the final year, he was trying to fix her.
Trying to guide her.
Trying to help her become what he knew she should be. I looked at him and said, but that's who she is.
You fell in love with the idea of her. maybe you fell in love with the representatives you brought out, but then the real person finally came out. And that's exactly who she is.
You see, love is a practice.
First off, a self-practice.
Every day you wake up, you should literally look in the mirror and tell yourself how much you love yourself.
Love is not something that we need in life. It’s something that makes our life even greater than it already is.
But when you're with somebody and you want them to be something, and you would love them more if they became that, then that is not a practice. That is pure madness.
Real true love takes time, day in and day out.
Allowing the person to show up as exactly who they are, loving exactly who they are, helping them, but not trying to change them into what you want them to be.
You see, we guide each other when we're in love. We need one another. We support one another and it's a beautiful thing. But if you try to push the person who you're in love with into being something that you've created in your mind so you can love them more? That is not love.
That is really just a form of manipulation. Not in the sense that you’re manipulating them to do harm, but you're just trying to manipulate them to be something that you imagine them to be, when in reality they're just a beautiful person who has shown up and you are not liking who they really are.
If you desire true love, take a deep breath.
Enjoy the fact that you fell in love with somebody. Enjoy it, because it's a beautiful thing, but take the time to see the real person unfold before your eyes.
That real person is the person that you're going to show up with every single day. That real person is going to, well, be in a relationship with you that's equal and not frustrating.
If you don't like the real person, but you love the idea of the person, then I strongly suggest you go on hiatus. Because I’ve tried those relationships and they never work at all. You end up wasting time.
And the one thing you will never get back is time. So just enjoy the idea of just being in love with the most beautiful person in the world, yourself.