Love is some potent stuff. It gets us high, knocks us low, and spins us round and round. It heals, it hurts, and delivers unparalleled joy. When something sprouts up in relationship that's different than we envisioned, it's easy to fall into fear. Despite our best reminders that change signifies life, movement, and growth, we punish ourselves, thinking we've done something wrong, and worry that all is lost.
The analytic mind loops like a roller coaster, as we angle to salvage the remaining vestiges of that vision. Spinning with the illusion that if we just try a little harder, we will be able to fix the issue or control the outcome.
Amid the complexities love brings, it's easy to lose sight of the fact that relationships are about one person -- and one person only -- YOU. Lovers are our greatest teachers and our most revealing mirrors; it's through these intricate relationships that we gain greater insight into ourselves.
Regardless of what the physical plane is showing you, you must trust that your life is working out for your best interest. We don't create anything we can't handle. The best thing you can do is let go of trying to control. By letting go, you release yourself from your limited vision of whatever it is you thought you wanted, thus creating space for what you actually need in order to evolve into a more loving, compassionate, and ultimately powerful person.
Loving connection is the essence of who we are as sexual beings and necessary to our survival as a species. And while there are many lovely and colorful characters that navigate beside us in this life, the journey into greater consciousness is ultimately something we do alone.
I used to think love was something I found in another person, but eventually I discovered what I was searching for in another was really who I wanted to be. The thing is...
We don't attract who we want to love into our lives; we attract who we are.
So I tried something new... and became The Beginner. This allowed me freedom I'd never known before to pursue things I'd always wanted to try, but somewhere along the line started believing my own B.S. stories: I'm not an artist, you have to be good at math to play guitar, it's dangerous for a woman to travel alone (these were true and persistent thoughts looping through my head for, ya know... a good 30 years!)
Being The Beginner means you can do anything and not be judged... doesn't that sound luxurious?
As the beginner, I found it easier to venture outside my comfort zone in the direction of my unrealized dreams. I discovered passions I never knew that I had. This permission led me to genuinely love and respect myself, which was a huge game changer.
I found that it doesn't matter that my nose is crooked or that a good third of my hair had been burned off by an over zealous stylist. When you are lit up by your passions and genuinely love yourself, it is spiritually, energetically, and universally impossible for others not to be attracted to you, too. That's how it works, my friend... good ol' Ordinary Magic doing its thing.
The Beginner Bottom Line: Don't focus on finding that amazing person to come into your life; Be an amazing person.