The Unanswerable Questions in Iraq

If the leading Shiite party in the country turns on us and the Sunnis are still fighting us, I defy anyone to come up with an answer for what we are supposed to do.
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Everyone knows that we are fighting a Sunni insurgency in Iraq (Apparently except our President who still thinks we are fighting "evildoers." By the way, has anyone ever heard such a simple man before? I don't know any in my life. If I met a person that talked like that in real life, I would try to get him some help. I'm serious. I would think he was slow and I would at least try to help him find his parents (which in this case would be very useful because he would be running into an actual competent president)).

You know what, I have to do one more aside. George H. W. Bush raised taxes when he knew it would be TREMENDOUSLY damaging to his political career. He took one for the team. Not the Republican team, the American team. Sure, he shouldn't have promised it as he was campaigning, but when it came to crunch time, he put his country above politics. Something his son wouldn't do if you put a gun to his head (which I would never do and would never suggest anyone else does -- just in case the Pentagon is tracking me. I'm not as dangerous as the Quakers, but you never know).

Bush Senior was also smart enough not to go into Iraq. He amassed 575,000 troops in a true international coalition to take back Kuwait. His son sent 150,000 of our troops backed up by a rag-tag coalition of the dwindling that has left the fight quicker than an Iraqi police unit in Ramadi. Did you know the first Persian Gulf War costs us almost nothing? It was paid for by our allies. I don't know why people don't talk about the stark contrast between the first Bush and the second Bush more.

I don't understand people in both parties who can't see that the two Bushes are almost exact opposites. Republicans claim to support both, which proves they are not paying attention and will support anyone who calls himself a Republican. And some Democrats talk about "the Bush crime family," as if the two Bushes are part of some sort of conspiracy. Their policies, in most important areas, couldn't be further apart.

Anyway, back to Iraq (where Senior told us not to go). So, the Sunnis hate us. They are the people we are actively fighting. Now, what will happen if the Shiites turn on us and they start to fight us as well? Well, you better come up with an answer quick because we are almost there.

As I noted in a previous post, the leading Shiite party in Iraq -- and the top vote getter in the country -- is the Supreme Council for the Islamic Revolution in Iraq. If you like Islamic Revolutions, you'll love the new Iraq.

This Islamic Revolution brought to you by Halliburton and bunch of dimwitted neo-cons.

By the way (yes another one), people are always talking about how smart the neo-cons are. I personally saw a speech where Senator Biden talked about how we have to be very careful with them because they are in fact quite brilliant. I think they are dumber than the side of a barn. Who would be gargantuanly stupid enough to think Iraq would elect a pro-American secular government if given democracy?

So, what are the fun people at the Supreme Council for the Islamic Revolution doing these days? They're busy turning on us. Get a load of this statement they put out a couple of days ago (the day 130 people (almost all Shiites) died from Sunni bombings):

"The multinational forces, and the political entities that declared their support for terrorism, bear the responsibility for the bloodshed that happened in the recent few days. They should know that the patience of our people will not last for a long time."

You didn't read that wrong. That is a flat out threat, not only against the Sunnis but also against us! They group us together with the terrorists. They say their patience is wearing thin. They accuse the "multinational forces" of bearing responsibility for the bloodshed.

My God, what are we going to do if they turn their weapons against us? Yes, the weapons we just gave them. Yes, with the army we just trained. This is what is colloquially called a cluster fuck.

If the leading Shiite party in the country turns on us and the Sunnis are still fighting us, I defy anyone to come up with an answer for what we are supposed to do.

Here's another brain teaser for the neo-clowns who got us into Iraq: What are we supposed to do if the democratically elected government of Iraq tells us to leave immediately?

Are we supposed to ignore their order to leave their country? Or are we supposed to clean up and go home?

You see the Shiites are a little tried of getting bombed by the Sunnis. And soon they might tell us to step aside and let a couple of their hard, pipe-hittin' Shiite homeboys go to work on these Sunnis with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. In other words, to get medieval on their ass.

And at what point will we have to re-invade Iraq to protect the Sunni minority from the Shiite oppression?

That day promises to be rich with irony. I wonder if people will notice. They didn't seem to when Rumsfeld ordered the invasion of the country he sold weapons to for having too many weapons (let alone the fact that he sold them those weapons to use against Iran and now we just handed the country over to Iran with our invasion to get rid of the weapons we sold them to fight against Iran). The ironies make the head hurt. Maybe that's why people ignore them.

At this point, I would like to remind you, all of this is not my prognostication in the dark. I'm only telling you what they're telling you. Here's what the Al-Bayyinah paper in Baghdad had to say about Shiite patience with US troops:

"Beware the wrath of the poor, whose patience is running out. And heed the Iraqi lion (Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Husseini al-Sistani) when the time comes for him to utter his word."

It sounds like that won't be a pleasant time.

You know what will be a funny time, when the American people realize we handed the country over to a guy whose name starts with Grand Ayatollah. So, here's my pet peeve number 400 with the mainstream media -- every expert in the field knows that the Grand Ayatollah Ali Sistani handpicked the Shiite political leaders. They all ultimately answer to him. He is the most powerful man in Iraq. When are you going to get around to telling the American people that?

If you asked 1,000 Americans, not one of them could name Sistani or understand his significance. Isn't that a colossal failure on the part of the media to inform the public? Kind of reminds me of a time when the media forgot to mention to people that Saddam had nothing to do with the 9/11 attacks.

Note to mainstream media: Just because you and your friends know it, it doesn't mean the American people know it. In order for that to happen, you have to extensively report on it and maybe everyone once in awhile do a headline (gasp) or a cover story.

I love Newsweek. They have been doing some kick-ass reporting over the last two years. If you just read them, you would be far more informed than 98% of the American population. In the interest of full disclosure, we have Newsweek reporters on our show all the time -- and I happen to like them. And they have done great cover stories lately on torture and the "Imperial Presidency." But (that "but" was a long time coming, hell of a set-up for it), this year they had a cover story on the pressing issue of Mormonism, seemingly three cover stories on how apples can make you healthier and 17 cover stories on Jesus (his birth, his return, his bar mitzvah and his wrong choices during college). We couldn't find the space to do one on who's actually running Iraq?

Do we really think the American people are going to be uninterested in finding out that we lost over two thousand men and $300 billion to put the Supreme Council for the Islamic Revolution and the Grand Ayatollah Ali Sistani in charge of Iraq?

Believe me, if you think they're uninterested now, they will become very interested, very quickly the minute those guys start firing on us. And as you can tell from the above quotes, that day unfortunately doesn't seem to be too far off.

Maybe I'm being an alarmist. After all, I was one of those quacks who thought there might be guerilla warfare in Iraq rather than people throwing roses at our feet. Silly me, I'm sure everything will be fine. As long as we're fighting the evildoers, I'm sure everything will sort itself out.

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