I’ve written a fair amount about gun control in my HuffPost tenure thus far, as well as about the need for sensible gun legislation. And here is what I can tell you – nothing has changed for the better.
I don’t say that to add to your depression and/or anxiety. I say it, because I finally realized that everything we talk about treats the symptom, but not the underlying issue. And as with any ailment, if you don’t get to the cause, it will keep coming back with a vengeance.
Such is the case with mass shootings and the relentless desire for unfettered gun ownership in this country.
We would like to think otherwise, but we are often ruled by our worst fears. And in our current world, those fears are that we are unsafe and powerless.
I’ll say that again in case your eyes glazed over. Our fears are that we are unsafe and powerless.
And guns, whether purchased by sane, law-abiding citizens or by the mentally distraught are never bought by those who feel safe in the world or are secure in their own power.
If you need artillery in order to feel safe, then you will never feel safe, regardless of any amount of artillery. And the same holds true for power.
I am not talking about the military or law enforcement here, whose job it is to defend us, and who are trained specifically in the use of their weapons. I am speaking about the multitudes of regular, ordinary citizens, who feel they need guns for protection in alarmingly increasing numbers.
And it’s no wonder we are afraid. We are constantly inundated with the most gruesome images and statistics, and in order to keep our interest piqued, each new story or detail must be more horrific than the previous one, which only serves to feed our underlying fears, even without the help of the gun lobby.
The gun lobby, however, knows this, and preys upon our worst nightmares and feelings of insecurity, while lining the pockets of politicians with tens of thousands of dollars to secure a continued lack of arms regulation.
So knowing this situation isn’t going to end any time soon, how do we feel safe in a world that isn’t? How do we claim our individual and collective power again, and most importantly, how do we heal from this perpetual trauma?
I should start by saying that I’m not a shrink, but I am a master worrier. No one can conjure a worst case scenario with less effort than I can. It’s a gift. And because I have had this gift since birth, I have given quite a bit of thought to how to alleviate fear and how to combat feelings of powerlessness.
Here are four things I’ve come up with:
I think the first step after witnessing the horrors of this most recent mass shooting is to be in community with one another and to talk about it. Isolation only breeds more isolation and fear. Giving words to our thoughts, feelings, and experiences lessens their hold over us. And listening to each other enables us to feel heard and cared for in a way that staying silent does not. So don’t shy away from the discussion or the sadness. Find others with whom to speak about it. The more we all interact, the less alone we feel.
The second thing I find most helpful is taking what constructive action we can take right now.
Acting, whether it is calling a congressman, donating blood, joining a neighborhood watch group, or raising a non-violent child, is the single greatest thing we can do to alleviate our feeling of helplessness and reclaim our power. Doing something not only changes how we feel, but eventually, will change the world.
The third thing I think we can all do to heal is to be kind to ourselves and to each other. Every one of us is hurting from the collective blow to our humanity that violent acts like the one in Vegas inflict. So let’s be a little nicer to every person whose path we cross. That kindness might be the only kindness someone experiences today, and it will ultimately, whether immediately or down the road, come back to us.
And last, but definitely not least, it’s time we surrender to the reality that our next moment is not guaranteed. And that is not a wholly bad thing to be reminded of, if it makes us say “I love you” more frequently and with greater meaning. While this new reality might seem grim, it can also serve to help us celebrate and savor every last morsel of what there is to celebrate in life. And that, too, will eradicate fear and bring us, if not a feeling of power, certainly more feelings of contentment and joy.
We are, when all is said and done, one human family, bound by our grief as much as our resilience. And we would do well to treat life as the precious, fragile gift that it is