Life is so unpredictable at times.
One minute everything is going exactly as planned and then out of the blue, your whole world crashes down. All it takes is a flick of a button and your world is turned upside down. You never know what sort of event will happen.
Maybe you're the sort of person who takes one step at a time and could care less what happens next or you're like me who needs to know what's ahead. I hate not knowing what will happen 10 years from now. Will I be successful? Will I be married? Will I have kids? Will I be happy? Will I have plenty of friends and family by my side? The questions constantly eat at me and make me wonder what life will look like.
Death often haunts me and I often think about how I'll take the death of a loved one. It's frightening to think one day my parents simply not being around. How will I cope? Will I continue to live without them? In terms of my boyfriend, if we do in fact get married, how will I handle this death? I know how I'd feel right now: completely and utterly distraught. At this point, I couldn't go on without him by my side.
You see, there are those who are independent and ones who are independent. I'd definitely consider myself dependent. I don't believe I could make it on my own. I often seek advice from others, so if I ever lost that, I have no idea what I would do. I usually ask others their opinion and base mine on theirs. It's a terrible tactic, but it's the solid truth. But, in a blink of an eye, life will throw you a curve ball that makes you make a decision then and there. Is there ever a right or wrong decision?
Well, if I decided not to go to the store this morning, my sister might not have gotten into a car accident. Or, if I hadn't pressured my best friend into coming to my recital, she wouldn't have been hit by a bus. In these circumstances, you have no clue what their destiny truly would have been. You'll always have to wonder "what could have been." And, that's what I don't like about life.
But, I suppose I'll just have to see where the waves take me.