What happens when a single Cuban gal joins Plenty of Fish (POF) and embarks on a mission to find the chulo of her dreams before Valentine's Day? Why, The Valentine's Day Challenge, of course! And now that V-Day is behind me, I can report that my mission was.... not so accomplished. But hear me out! A month does not a successful courtship make. I met some very lovely gentleman on the site, even went on a date with one, but there was just no chemistry. And I'm not talking about the kind that Walter White uses to create that magical blue meth, but the one where you just clickity click click with another human being. It just... wasn't there for me at the end of the day.
An aside: I must admit that my little social experiment was briefly derailed when I thought that I had genuinely met someone pretty damn awesome in real life. I know, REAL LIFE. I could hardly believe it myself. Alas, it was just another mortifying experience that will be recalled in a future article, I'm sure.
Now, back to the topic at hand. While I understand that it's incredibly tough to connect with someone through a computer and/or cell phone screen, there is PLENTY more to talk about than what I'm doing and how my weekend was. Trust me. Some guys on POF got it and we enjoyed some nice conversation before they dropped off the face of the Earth. Others only spoke to me until I made it blatantly clear that they would not be giving me the d anytime soon. A very small percentage I've remained in contact with, while a larger portion (my absolute faves) are the ones that really give online dating a bad name. I'll call them Creep Nation.
A quick breakdown of some of the members of Creep Nation:
1. The "This Guy Can't Be Serious" Guy: Said I looked like "tight work." Commented on his commitment to family... including his wife. Said he could show me a good time, but discreetly, of course. Needless to say, this one didn't even get a response.
2. The Couch Surfer: Left his hometown to travel the U.S. as a photographer. Seemed like a cool dude until he reveals that he's actually located two hours away from Miami and us meeting is contingent upon him having a place to crash. The implication is clear. I move on to the next one.
3. The One That Doesn't Get It: Right off the bat asks if I'll meet him for drinks. I think it's best not to respond to someone coming on so strong. Two days later another request for a date. A week later an invitation to see a concert with him... IN APRIL. The serial killer vibes were strong with this one.
4. The Psuedo-Model: Doesn't think his best course of action is to say hello or ask how I'm doing. He just messages me with his Kik name. DAS IT. Yeah, I was as confused as you are.
5. The Professional Douchebag: Not even trying to be a bitch here. This dude legit listed "douchebag" as his profession. It was clear that he takes his job responsibilities quite seriously, as his tagline was "well endowed." My eyes rolled so far into the back of my head, I may have given myself a migraine.
6. The Plastic Surgen: Nope, that's not a typo on my behalf. It's how this 26 year old (yes, 26) spelled the name of his profession.
7. The Dick: Because that's really what all his pictures were of.
BUT! Because there's always a big ol' but, isn't there? While I wasn't able to find a dreamboat by Valentine's Day, I've decided to stick with the site. Maybe I'm being naïve, maybe I've watched The Notebook too many damn times or maybe my tolerance for bullshit is really high these days, but I think there just may be someone out there worth my while.
What the hell is my point in all of this? It's that finding someone takes work. And it definitely takes more than a month of online dating and the pressures of a cheesy holiday to do it. Yes, we all like to think that a perfect mate will magically fall on our laps in a non-sexual way and that we'll end up in love, getting married and making dem babies, but that's just not how it works. At least not for a lot of us, and God knows I've prayed for it.
So, no, I didn't succeed in my challenge. But... I'm okay with it. Because I know I'll eventually find the Jay to my Bey. I'm disgustingly optimistic about it.