The Virtual Love Affair...


At dawn, you quietly retreat to another room. You can hardly control this impulse.

At breakfast, you throw your inhibitions to the wind as you stare into the abyss of what is quietly and slowly eating away at your commitment to a newfound relationship.

This love affair of yours is the by-product of Harvard minds. Whether it was started by two athletic twins or the slightly awkward guy who wears the gray t-shirts, Facebook has become a central part of the culture.

Facebook is entertaining and informative. The unintended or intended consequences of its use is that it can be a habit-forming platform and can potentially damage relationships or prevent someone from entering into one.

There is no surgeon general warning attached to Facebook over-usage, but are we fooling ourselves? It was not until the second half of the twentieth century that the dangers of smoking became a part of public discourse.

How will society view us in 100 years? Will they say, "oh, they just did not know any better...the link between Facebook and..."

What we do know is that we are never alone with Facebook on our phones, tablets, laptops, computers, etc...It's comforting, and we all lean on it a bit. But to what end?

Too many times, I hear my clients rant and rave about how he was glued to his phone all night, or that she is constantly posting pictures of the two of us on Facebook.

Maybe it's a healthy outlet. There is a point at which I have to stop looking because I can feel my productivity and attention waning. There's no easy way to stop Facebook now, only our approach to it. My fear is that, for some of my clients, they will reflect on a life that was not lived by them, but rather someone else, somewhere else.

I do not tell my clients to get off of Facebook, or even use it less. It's too powerful a force for me to stop and perhaps too difficult a request. Subtlety, we acknowledge there is more out there...and it would be a shame to allow Facebook to get in the way.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts.