The Way Life Should Be


"Pivot!" he's going to pivot, look, he's motioning a pivot, we are so enthralled he's going to...oops, eek, ouch, he threw another disgusting slimy spitball! And so it goes with "The Great Pretender" manipulating surrogate voices and legions of "talking heads" to pull off another media-captivating news cycle blast with deceit, anger, hatred and bellicosity. Although all things "Trump For President" have great anticipatory entertainment value, even the latest "he said, he said" Montezuma's Revenge twitter spat over who is going to pay for that glorious border wall, in our beloved world of presidential politics, is not the way life should be.

While funny and satisfying on a primal level, the great Democratic political strategist David Plouffe recently attacked Donald Trump by calling him a psychopath. This was inappropriate over-statement and a childish Trumpish tactic of name bombing. Donald Trump is certainly "psycho-something," but I prefer the Susan Collins approach to derail a Trump Presidency. It has more dignity and honors the right traditions of political fair play. Name-calling is a form of bullying and only begets more name-calling.

Maine's Republican Senator Susan Collins has been criticized for coming late to the "Never Trump" parade, but, let's be fair, disowning one's political party nominee is rare, takes conviction, courage, makes a nuclear blast statement of disgust, and signals to one's constituency an unavoidable persuasive argument. Give her credit for purging and washing her Trump soiled values for being astute and honorable enough to exit the Trumpster-dumpster before his latest escapade in shamelessness. Over 100 prominent Republicans have done likewise.

Senator Collins got it already, Trump will not pivot, he is the Great Pretender, and in her home state of Maine, Donald Trump does not represent "The Way Life Should Be." To her and many of us it is becoming clearer what little we can expect from a "President" Trump. He will be an ill prepared non-medicated "ADHD-type" hothead administrator. It is easy to visualize a typical day of Donald Trump living in the White House. It could go like this:

Awakening from another REM deprived sleep with his small hands feeling slightly numb from holding a twitter account recharging under his pillow, he leaps out of bed, his impulse control dial switched to "disabled," and barks to his staff to ready "Trump Air-Fart One" for a quick fly-thru to Mexico for photo-ops of one high ranking handshake that is immediately sterilized as he boards to return, but the gestalt of the media event is an image of him looking presidential. Upon debriefing the press, President Trump trumps great deals only he could have negotiated, but within hours a twitter spat unfolds with contradictions over what was really decided and who would pay for what. Trump then blames the crooked press for rigging the system against him, and retaliates by banishing more of the White House Press. Having secured another 24-hour news cycle that is only about him as if there was no other viable news to report, President Trump hears himself talking to himself in his reassuring voice of "I had the greatest presidential day ever that only I could have had."

There is a reason why Maine borders Canada and folks up in that area know "The Way Life Should Be," because it can only be without a Trump Presidency and with enticing taco trucks on enough corners.