By Christine Schoenwald
Are you doing something that’s preventing you from being in a relationship? Are you constantly wondering “why am I still single”?
You think that you’re ready to be part of a couple and you actively seek out your perfect someone, and yet nothing seems to work out. You’re on all the apps, you go on coffee dates and you chat, but still there’s no connection, no spark and you still end up single.
Your life is great, so full of love and fun and family. You consider yourself a happy person, it’s just that you think you might be even happier if you had a romantic partner in your life. However, no matter what you do, the only person you’re consistently dating is yourself.
You wonder if there’s a part of you that doesn’t really want to be in a relationship and that you’re only going through the motions. Is your intent to find someone or are you just pretending that’s what you want? Could you be secretly sabotaging yourself so that you remain single?
If you’ve never been in a successful relationship, it might make you think that you’ll never have a healthy one, so why bother? You might feel it’s best if you focus on yourself and your needs right now, which is perfectly fine if you’re honest with yourself about what it is that you want.
The truth is that dating is a time-suck and if you’re not in the right space for it, it can end up being a burden and something that you dread, not something fun.
A good way to gain insights and understandings about ourselves is from astrology. Every zodiac sign shares certain characteristics and behaviors, and learning about them can give us clues about ourselves.
Find out what it is that’s keeping you single, based on your zodiac sign.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
You haven’t made time in your schedule for dating. If you meet someone who seems promising you aren’t afraid to make the first move, but you can never seem to find a time to get together that’s good for both of you. Sometimes you need to be able to make a compromise, and if it’s not worth it to you to reschedule one workout to meet someone, you’re not only not physically available, you’re emotionally unavailable as well.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
You’ve decided somewhere along the line that you have a type and you rigidly stick to it. You could meet someone who checks off all the boxes on the compatibility test, but if they’re not your type, you refuse to consider them as anything more than a friend. Try to loosen up your strict guidelines on what you must have in a partner and open yourself up to more possibilities.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
It doesn’t matter how young or old you are, you think you’re not at the right age for love. If you’re young, you want to have fun and don’t think you’re ready for anything serious. If you’re more mature, you’ve convinced yourself that your ship has sailed and you’re too old for love. Hey, stop putting an age limit on love and you might be surprised at what you find.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
You have a difficult time letting go of your past relationships. It’s funny how much better they seem now that they’re long over. The problem is that when you’re obsessing over an ex, you close yourself off to experiencing love in the present. There was a reason that relationship is in the past.
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
It’s funny how you’re somebody who has no trouble meeting people and completely charming them, and yet you depend on online dating to meet someone. You’re actually somebody who is much more appealing in real time and it’s not good to hide behind the safety of the screen. You’ll do better with being in the same room with someone and showing them your true amazing personality, not the one you fictionalized for the internet.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
It’s been said before but you’re just picky. You like to believe that you just have high standards, but what good are they when no one, not even yourself, can meet them? This doesn’t mean you have to settle for the first person who comes through the door, just relax those high standards a bit. They don’t have to be a supermodel/brilliant scientist/gifted artist. Regular people are good, too.
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
Somewhere deep down, you just don’t believe you deserve big love. Maybe you were a jerk to someone who you dated a while ago or maybe you’re afraid you just don’t know how to be in a healthy relationship. You’ve grown up and no matter how much of an asshat you were, you deserve a second (or third) chance to find someone who adores you.
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
You like to spend time alone, but sometimes when you’re alone you can get extremely pessimistic. You start thinking of all the relationships that everyone thought were so perfect, and how they imploded. You might meet someone and your imagination will immediately start creating scenarios where everything goes terribly wrong in the imaginary relationship. Hold on, Sparky, you’re getting way ahead of yourself. Why not pull back on the negativity and try to see where things can go instead of planning for disaster?
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
You’re afraid that once you start to really know someone that they’ll stop surprising you and will become boring. In fact, the opposite may be true; there are people that we can know for a lifetime who continue to surprise and fascinate us. When a relationship deepens, it becomes infinitely compelling.
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
We get it: you’re focused on your career right now. The thing is you’re always focused on your career and your future and this is just a big excuse to avoid putting yourself out there. Extremely successful people seem to be able to fit in love and relationships, so you can as well.
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
You enjoy people but you also enjoy spending time alone... maybe too much. You think that love is going to be a non-stop emotion-fest and you’re not comfortable with that. Every relationship is different and while it does take some give and take, you have the power to create the type of relationship you need.
PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
You’d prefer that your friends and family found love than you find it. You’re overly concerned about the happiness of others that you ignore your own happiness. It’s OK to pursue a romantic partnership and it’s also alright to put yourself first. You’re the most unselfish person in the world, so being a little self-centered when it comes to love is a good thing.
This article originally appeared on YourTango.
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