The Worst Things About Weddings, According To This Drunk Dude

"This is dinner, not the 'Hunger Games'. I shouldn't have to spear somebody for a tiny piece of cheese."

Weddings, for however lovely and fun-filled they can be, do have some seriously crappy drawbacks that deserved to be acknowledged.

And who better to bring those to light than professional complainer (and BuzzFeed staffer) Matt Bellassai. In this week's installment of his video series Whine About It, he goes on a five-minute rant about the worst aspects of weddings, while simultaneously downing a big ol' glass of red wine.

"Why do I even have to give you a gift?" he says in the video. "Buy your own damn microwave. Nobody bought me a microwave when I moved in by myself and all I could afford were those tiny cups of Easy Mac."

During his comical tirade, he also touches on topics like the high cost of attending weddings, not getting a plus-one, long-winded ceremonies and speeches and a lack of hot bachelors. And, of course, the most egregious wedding failure of all: the dreaded cash bar.

Watch him spout some hilarious, curmudgeonly truths in the video above.

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