Progressing through your twenties is fun, until you get to your late twenties and realize it’s almost over. Basically, once you get passed the fun stuff, things get kind of serious, and you realize that your former fun self really screwed over your older, semi-responsible self because you’re now poor and unable to adult even though society is forcing you to.
That’s the dictionary definition of your twenties.
No, I’m kidding, but really. Adulting is hard at any age within your twenties. Even age 20! Lol.
Here are the stressful thoughts you have at each year of your twenties.
Ugh, how am I not 21 yet? Can this year just end already? I am sick of using a fake ID. I just want to be 21 and be able to buy booze legally. I want to be able to show a bouncer my ID without fiercely shaking on the inside. I am 20 years old!!! I’m not young anymore!!! THIS AGE SUCKS AND IS SO ANNOYING. I HATE IT. I can’t wait to be 21 and then eventually to be 29 and married and totally have my shit together! JUST KIDDING, 29 IS SO OLD. LOLOLOLOL.
WOOOOOOOO 21!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET’S GO OUT TO THE BAR. LET’S GO OUT TO THE CLUB. LET’S GET FUCKED UP. LET’S DO ALL THREE OF THOSE THINGS EVERY WEDNESDAY THROUGH SUNDAY. YAAAAAAA.
I guess 22 is still young, but I’m not the youngest person at the bar anymore so that sucks. Whatever. Let’s drink.
Wow, now I’m really not the youngest person at the bar anymore. I’m starting to feel kind of old. And tired! The real world is so tiring! Wow, I need a drink. I’m going to black out so hard tonight. I just need to decide where to go tonight, but I have this whole night life thing down so it won’t be hard. I am basically a going out professional.
I am getting so bored of all these bars. I feel like I’ve been going to the same places over and over again for the past couple of years. And now everyone that frequents these places is 21… Like three years younger than me 21. I used to rule these places. Now I feel old there. But I’m not old. I’m still in my early 20s. Or am I in my mid-20s? Whatever. Let’s day drink.
Ugh. I am officially in the middle of my 20s. Like the legit middle. When did this happen? When did I get this old? How did I used to go out both nights every weekend? Ugh work is so busy. I just want to sleep. But I’m not going to be young for that much longer so I should totally go out tonight. But ugh I just want to sit on the couch. And where would I even go? Where do 25-year-olds go out? I’m going to need a red bull vodka to stay awake tonight. I AM SO OLD. And everyone here is so young. Help.
Why doesn’t anyone want to go out like we used to anymore? And why is no one ever around? I have to make plans 16 years in advance to see people, and we only make plans now for a reason – like if it’s someone’s birthday. Everyone sucks, but I guess I prefer the couch, yoga pants and wine so it’s fine. I also don’t have clothes to wear “out” anymore anyway. And what is with all these weddings coming up? How do you even attend a wedding? How do you be in a wedding? Should I be thinking about getting married too? Or maybe I should just try saving some money for once in my life. UGH, RESPONSIBILITY. IT’S HAPPENING.
I am so over going out. But I’m supposed to go out this weekend. Ugh, I should cancel. I am trying to lose weight and not spend money because I’m broke and feel like I should have money in savings because I’m, like, 27. I guess going out to dinner and drinks one night won’t hurt. I love how I consider “going out” going to dinner now and when I was 23, I considered “going out” getting black out drunk and passing out somewhere unfamiliar. My drink of choice was also vodka and now it’s wine. Times have changed. How did I go out so much back then? I get tired just thinking about it. Wow, I love the couch. But adulting still sucks. At least I’m not 28 yet.
How did this happen? How did I get here? I feel the same as I did at 27 except there are more weddings draining my bank account and I know people who are having kids. Should I look into freezing my eggs? I am pretty much done with my 20s. Does that make me a real adult? Because I still don’t have enough money to buy a house or start a family or do anything cool anymore. Also, can I still go out and party? I joked that I was too old for that shit at 26 and 27, but now I might actually be too old. I guess it’s not like anyone would actually be down to go out like old times with me anyway… or would they?
Help me, I’m about to turn 30 and I still cannot afford my lifestyle… or your wedding... and I definitely do not have my shit together. I swear just yesterday I was 26. How did time go by this quickly?! At least I’m not 21 anymore. That was an insane time period. I would NEVER want to be 21 again. I’m gonna pour myself a wine and reflect on the past 10 years and then maybe meet my friends at a bar because we actually know where to go out now without feeling ancient. But I’ll stay in if I don’t feel like leaving my house because it’s my life and I do what I want. Ya feel?