THE BLOG

They Found The WMD!

Sure, it's a November surprise, not October, but wow! what a find. Those Iraqi nukes have been hiding in plain sight, right under our own eyes, waiting to be discovered since 1991 by our very own Sherlock Holmeses.

Turns out that Congress's two top Republicans on the intelligence case - Pat Roberts and Pete Hoeckstra - convinced President Bush to dump the raw secret documents seized in the Persian Gulf War onto the internets. The idea, see, is that people all over the world could use the google to find the nucular needles in that docstack.

And it wikiworked! Classified information wants to be free. Poor kids in madrassas no longer have to suffer on the wrong side of the digital divide; now it's as easy to download a cached blueprint for catastrophe as it is to stoke your iPod. Rip, mix, and burn, baby, burn!

Clearly this is the just the beginning of open-source killware. As long as Republicans keep control of Congress, imagine the possibilities. They could put the contents of everyone's hard drive on the net. No more lonely, frantic searching for that honey-it-must-have-been-the-cable-guy-who-went-to-that-site you forgot to delete; now, the distributed intelligence of the whole world can be mobilized on your behalf. And think of it: when no one has any privacy any more, no one will need to worry about identity theft any more!

Forget MySpace -- MySpore is the new killer ap. Googlebombing will never be the same.