Parents

Things Every Mom Has Done At Least a Million Times

Motherhood is many things, but one thing it is NOT is an exercise in moderation. No, as a mom you often find yourself doing the same things over, and over, and over...

If you’ve been a mom for any appreciable amount of time, you’ve probably done all of these at least a million times:

1. Picked up the hand towel from the bathroom floor.

2. Discovered someone else’s bodily fluid somewhere on your clothes.

3. Carefully arranged trash over something you didn’t want the kids to know you threw away.

4. Told the kids “one cookie is enough” and then ate 6 after they left the room.

5. Burned food while multitasking.

6. Replaced a toilet paper roll... using the new roll someone left sitting on top of the empty holder.

7. Had a mental breakdown triggered by the sight of a random sock lying on the floor.

8. Told someone that poop jokes aren’t funny (even if that particular one actually was a little funny.)

9. Washed the same load of laundry twice because you forgot to move it to the dryer.

10. Secretly cackled inside your head when you vacuumed up a Lego.

11. Put something in a special place so you wouldn’t lose it and then forgot where that place was.

12. Did something your pre-kid self would have found disgusting.

13. Picked up dirty clothes from the floor right next to the hamper.

14. Ignored the voice in your head saying “This is such a cliché” as you ate a candy bar while hiding in the bathroom.

15. Discovered a new system that was going to streamline your family, organize your life, and probably create world peace (it didn’t.)

16. Thrown away a carton containing 4 drops of juice from the fridge.

17. Googled “how to clean _________ out of _________.”

18. Arbitrated disputes by yelling through the bathroom door.

19. Tried a new parenting technique from the Internet and had no clue what to do when the kids didn’t respond like they are supposed to.

20. Put off going to the bathroom while doing child-related stuff for so long you worried about peeing your pants (and possibly did, I’m not judging.)

You’ll do all of these things many times as a mother, often even in the same day. Oh, and you should probably spread trash over that candy bar wrapper in the bathroom garbage. The kids are going to see.

Jenny Evans is a writer, night owl, perfectionist, and Mormon mom of 6. When she’s not cleaning juice out of the carpet, she blogs about life with a houseful of kids at Unremarkable Files. You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter.