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21 Things I REALLY Want for Christmas as a Mom

I want everyone to lick or wipe the peanut butter off the spoon before dropping it in the sink. Better yet, lick it off and drop it in the dishwasher.
11/30/2015 10:01am ET | Updated November 30, 2016
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Presents in front of Christmas tree.

For weeks now, my kids have been asking me what I want for Christmas. And I have said the thing that I am supposed to say, that I always say -- I don't need anything. I just want all of my children to be happy and healthy. It's true. I don't need anything. And I do want my children to be happy and healthy.

But they are good children, so no matter how often I say that I really don't need anything, they will pool their money and buy me a new bathrobe or nightgown or a maybe well-intentioned kitchen gadget. And I'll be grateful because I know they are buying me presents because they love me and want to show me that they care.

But here's the thing. I'm lying. I don't just want healthy, happy kids. Sure, that's the most important thing, but there are a few other things that I desperately want. So maybe this year I will give my family my real Christmas list...

1. I want everyone to lick or wipe the peanut butter off the spoon before dropping it in the sink. Better yet, lick it off and drop it in the dishwasher.

2. I want never to hear the word SHOTGUN! again.

3. I want never to open the cabinet and find a box with approximately two tablespoons of cereal left in it.

4. I want a vehicle free of dead french fries and straw wrappers.

5. I want all the socks in the whole world (or at least in my house) to find and keep their forever mates.

6. I want kitchen countertops free from crumbs.

7. I want someone else to feed the dog. C'mon, that was the deal.

8. I want to stop pretending that the little flecks of green in the pasta are seasonings. It's spinach, y'all. OK? It has always been spinach.

9. I want to sit down with my coffee or my computer or my book for more than five minutes at a time before someone says, "Hey Mama! Will you..."

10. I want to always be able to find a pen. And my scissors. And the duct tape. Seriously. Who keeps running off with the duct tape?

11. I want to stop repeating myself.

12. I want to stop repeating myself.

13. I want a TV show that comes on during primetime that I can watch with my whole family and that does not involve wildlife or wild lives or people wearing camo or having sex -- and that will not be interrupted by commercials for tampons, erectile disfunction or Victoria's Secret.

14. I want to learn how to use the television remote control, and I want the kids to forget how to use the television remote control.

15. I want, just now and then, to arrive at church with a relaxed, well-dressed family at least 15 minutes early.

16. I want to pray more as a family.

17. I want to play more as a family.

18. I want to sit down to dinner more often.

19. I want to cook from scratch, and I want someone else to clean the kitchen.

20. I want more nights at home with my family and fewer nights all going in different directions.

21. I want to slow down time.

Obviously, some of the things on my list are within my family's power to give me and some are not. But in the end, I know I will get a bathrobe or a nightgown or a kitchen gadget. And that's OK. Because even though whatever I get might not come with a lifetime supply of spotless kitchens or perfectly matched socks, it will come with love. And besides, I really could use a new bathrobe.

The original version of this post appeared on Charming Farming.

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