If the recent Solange/Jay Z fight has taught us anything, it's that elevators are just weird.
Think about it. You're riding in a metal box with strangers. Someone's always watching. There are unspoken rules. If you consider what you're actually doing for more than a second, it becomes terrifying. But there are certain things that can make riding in an elevator even more awkward than it has to be.
Clip your nails.
Eat literally any type of food.
Talk on your phone for more than 3 seconds.
Ask if anyone has heard of that thing where elevators just drop for no reason.
Press the elevator "stop" button to prolong going to work.
Break up with someone.
Think it's your floor, realize it's not, then get back on without making an awkward apology.
Request assistance with your wedgie.
Practice your weird performance art.
Declare, "I've brought you all here for a reason," then get off without saying anything.
Take a selfie.
Cry uncontrollably while taking a selfie.
Tell an inside joke to a friend, then judge the other riders for not getting the joke.
Run in and frantically hit the "Door Close" button while screaming, "They're coming to get me! They're coming to get me!"
Challenge your fellow riders to a jumping contest.
Attempt to lead the elevator in a rousing cover of "Let It Go."
Pretend you're doing reconnaissance work for a future, high-stakes heist.
Sing "Happy Birthday" to no one in particular.
Mark your territory by urinating in the corner.
Ask the person next to you if your cut looks infected.
Invent a new kind form of renewable energy.
Announce that you're running for President in 2016.
Take it back, declare yourself "Elevator President" for life.
Okay, seriously though? Just don't do THIS.
So, aside from getting into a high-profile celebrity brawl, here are some other things you should never, ever do in an elevator.
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