10 Things To Do In Denver Before You're Dead

After we left the Bowerbirds, our cross-country road trip took on a more decidedly “Southern” tinge.

A few hours from North Carolina, a heavy storm forced us to pull over somewhere near Whitesville, West Virginia, where we stayed in a Super 8 motel and ate Hooters for dinner. The next morning, we continued on towards Central City, Kentucky, where Katie’s grandma was waiting for us. The two days spent there were filled with eating out (McDonald’s happened twice), playing Continental Rummy, shopping at Wal-Mart, and definitely not drinking (the county just recently went from dry to damp). That was followed by the long drive across Missouri and, more notably, Kansas, which never fucking ends and is home to apocalyptic storms that you can see yourself driving directly into from miles away.

Thus, Denver was like an oasis in the vast cultural desert of middle America. We were expecting snow-capped mountains and skiers and weed and stoned skiers skiing down snow-capped mountains smoking weed, and all the other things people who’ve never been to Colorado’s capital associate it with.

So we were surprised when we realized those mountains were kinda far in the distance, and that it was 90+ degrees, and that Denver is pretty awesome.

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