Spring has sprung, advertisements are relentless, brunch reservations are made, and Mother's Day weekend is officially upon us. In the spirit of appreciating your mother properly, why not familiarize yourself with the absolute worst things about being a mom? Think about everything she had to go through for you -- the sacrifices she made, the torture she endured. Then give that special lady in your life the genuine "thank you" she deserves, and be the kind of son or daughter that makes all the trouble worth her while. Remember, no matter who you are, you didn't make it into this world on your own.
Gaining Weight
The average woman typically gains 25 to 35 pounds during pregnancy. That equates to a medium-sized dog or a standard 2-year-old.
Losing Sleep
I've heard that once a woman becomes a mother, sleep becomes a distant memory. This apparently lasts from birth to Senior Prom, and sometimes beyond that.
Giving Birth
In a perfect world, babies would be delivered by a stork. But we do not live in a perfect world. In summary: childbirth is not pleasant.
Making Sacrifices (i.e. Sobriety)
Being a good mother means giving up certain food, drink and guilty pleasures for at least nine months. Cigarettes? A healthier choice for everyone. Processed cold cuts? See ya, sodium. Wine? No. Just, no.
Changing Diapers
There's no way around it. Until a child is potty trained -- which, I hear, is a joy all its own -- it's up to Mom (and any/all willing parties) to take care of business. The glamour!
Altered Priorities
Being a mom means pushing personal best interests to the back burner. It also makes a solo trip to Target seem like a two-week vacation at a Sandals resort.
"Gifts"
Macaroni necklaces. Clothes pins disguised as Christmas tree ornaments. Miscellaneous objects made in the shape of children's tiny, tiny hands. Moms have to accept and cherish every homemade tchotchke they receive. And in most cases, they truly do.
Public Humiliation
"Terrible twos" isn't just a cute alliterative term. It is real life, people, and it knows no boundaries. Sometimes it lasts until the age of five. Or 18.
Empty Nesting
After enduring years of physical trauma, sleepless nights, and mental exhaustion -- and doling out tender, loving care all the while -- most mothers will discover their children have learned how to function without them. But no matter how independent we become, and no matter where we go, we always need our moms.
Love you, Mom!