In what has been a “definitely surreal experience,” Toby Fleischman and her partner, Lindsay Lanciault, are pregnant at the same time.
Fleischman, a celebrity makeup artist in Santa Monica, California, told The Huffington Post that when she and Lanciault, a speech-language pathologist, decided to start expanding their family, she would try to get pregnant first since she was older. Lanciault would then try to get pregnant a few years later. Plans changed, though. After Fleischman had been trying to get pregnant for more than a year (during which she had a miscarriage), the couple agreed that Lanciault should start trying, too.
“We decided she should still try anyway since I had previously suffered a miscarriage and we just didn’t know what the outcome would be,” Fleischman told HuffPost.
In early November, Fleischman learned she was pregnant. The next week, Lanciault was ovulating. Both women decided Lanciault should continue trying to get pregnant in case Fleischman had another miscarriage. A few weeks later, Lanciault had a positive pregnancy test, too.
“We both joked though, this WOULD be the time Lindsay gets pregnant,” Fleischman said. “And that’s exactly what happened. So yes, we were prepared for the positive result, but it was still a shock. We were of course so excited and we kind of just laughed ― this was the way the universe had it in store for us all along.”
Both women chose to undergo insemination at home using sperm from a “dear friend” who grew up with Lanciault. Fleischman said the first few moments after learning both tests came back positive were “definitely surreal to say the least.”
“We had been dealing with disappointment for so many months while ‘facing the stick,’ as we called it, as I had been trying to get pregnant for more than a year at that point,” she said. “We were so patterned to a negative result.”
Fleischman is due July 22, and Lanciault is due just shy of three weeks later on August 10. Both are having boys.
Fleischman told HuffPost that she was sick for about three weeks because of her pregnancy. As she was coming out of her bout of illness, Lanciault began showing the same symptoms. Both are in their second trimester now, though, and are “feeling pretty good.”
“I think we definitely are more understanding and a little more tolerant with each other since we know what the other is going through,” they said.
They are also in sync when it comes to their pregnancy cravings.
“We both want Italian food or we both feel like ice cream!” they said. “It has been really great to share the journey.”
Since sharing their story, Fleischman said they have received “such wonderful feedback.” They have also heard from other same-sex couples who have experienced something similar. Sadly, there has also been negative feedback. Fleischman simply reminds herself, though, that what she and her partner have is “a story of love.”
“Big picture, how can loving people who want to raise children in a loving home be anything other than something beautiful?” she said. “So we choose to focus on the positive.”
Fleischman and Lanciault have no doubt that having two kids at about the same time will be a challenge. But they’re excited about their sons having a “built-in best friend.”
“That’s going to be the most amazing part,” Fleischman said.
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