This 'Full House' Joey Theory Will Upend Your World

Ever wonder why all the Tanner kids were blond?

Uncle Joey, you dog.

In a video that dropped Friday, the humor site Cracked advanced a theory that the resident goofball of the ’80s’-’90s sitcom “Full House,” played by Dave Coulier, was really the father of all the children in the house.

The clip cites some compelling genetics statistics while calling out Joey for some possible hanky-panky that will sully the memory of all that you hold dear.

The theory has actually been around ― but maybe the passage of time will finally allow us to accept it?

Ponder that while you await the third season of “Fuller House” on Netflix Sept. 22.