This morning I overslept, trying to fight off my daily nausea. As soon as I entered my bathroom to get ready for work, it hit me anyway.
I pulled my face out of my toilet and made my way to the sink. I caught a glimpse of my sweaty, makeup-stained, swollen-lipped face and thought, "Yep, this is the face of pregnancy."
And it's not cute.
But it only took a second for my husband's comment from last night to fill my thoughts and my heart... "This is probably our last baby."
Girl, boy, million dollar family or not, this is very likely my last pregnancy. The last time I'll spend my days throwing up more often than I'm able to eat. This "pregnancy face" won't happen again, and by God, every time I shove my face in that porcelain throne, I'll thank God for the opportunity he gave me to carry another tiny miracle. He chose me for this job, and I'll be damned if I don't show up every day and give this pregnancy all I've got.
You see, I know that this is a gift; not all women can carry babies or get pregnant. Many women who dream of becoming mothers have their dreams delayed, and some are never fulfilled. I've watched too many people I love with broken hearts because they haven't received their own tiny miracles. It breaks my heart that they won't ever get to experience this -- the good, the bad and the ugly.
Someone once told me how much she hated being pregnant and how it made her feel. It wasn't "fun." This comment has haunted me for years, and I've always thought, dear God, don't allow me to ever be that ungrateful. If it were meant to be fun, everyone would be popping out babies constantly.
So, this face... this face of exhaustion, nausea, sweat and tears... I'm thankful for this reminder every morning of what is growing inside of me. In seven short months, l'll labor to bring another sweet face into this world. I'll say my last first "hello" to my newborn. I'll become a mother again for the last time.
I'll never regret this gift. I'll never take for granted this "face of pregnancy."