A lot of married people get that feeling in the pit of their stomach that their relationship might be coming to an end. They find themselves wondering if they are just being paranoid and their marriage is just going through a rocky patch or if their relationship is truly about to go kaput. If you are trying to figure out if your partner is about to say sayonara baby or if it's just all in your head, here are some red flags for which to keep an eye out:
1. He doesn't even fight with you anymore.
When two people are trying to make things work, they try to discuss things even if it ends them up in an argument. If he isn't fighting with you anymore, then he probably isn't fighting for the relationship anymore either.
2. He is staying out later and later on school nights.
If you notice that your man is, all of a sudden, staying out later and is being mysterious about his whereabouts, this could be a red flag. Men who don't care about the relationship anymore start staying out later usually because they either can't bear to be around their wife or because they feel guilty that they are going to ask for the divorce.
3. He starts to work out.
If your man, suddenly starts working out and changing his look after never doing that before, that might be an indicator that he is either having an affair or preparing to get back out into the dating world. Yes, he might just have decided to try to get healthier. However, if this were the case, wouldn't he have discussed that with you first, not go at it solo?
4. He adds a password to his phone.
If, randomly, your husband changes or adds a password to his phone and/or his computer, you should be concerned. He always shared everything with you before, why he is he changing that now?
5. He is openly checking out other women.
Was your husband always polite about not checking out other gals or at least about trying to hide when he was doing it? If now, he is blatantly staring, without any regard for your feelings, you should take this under advisement.
6. He stops planning for the future.
This is a big one. Remember how the two of you always talked about upcoming things- vacations, events, purchases? Well, if he stops doing that cold turkey and changes the subject every time you try to discuss anything related to the future, you should watch out and ask him why this is the case.
7. He starts doing things alone with the kids.
The two of you used to do everything as a family. Now, without explanation, he is doing things, just him and the kids. He might be doing this, so he can get them used to time alone with him and time without mommy.
8. He is making extra efforts with your couples friends.
Did your husband always just tolerate all those couples friends you fostered over the years? And now, out of the blue , does he seem really intent on working on those relationships? Be wary of this, he might be trying to claim his turf.
9. He is reconnecting with his single and divorced friends.
Remember how he never wanted to hang out with his divorced friends because they were too negative or his single friends because they were all so horny? Well, if now, unexpectedly, he is choosing to hang out with those people, be on guard.
10. He has started to keep a closer accounting of the finances.
Remember when your bank accounts were completely joint and he never questioned what you were spending? Well, if now, without warning, he starts to keep a more watchful eye on the money and even starts moving things around, this could be a sign that he is preparing for divorce.
If you start seeing one or many of these red flags, do yourself a favor and consult a divorce attorney just in case. It's better to be informed of your rights and how to protect yourself than to be caught off-guard and at a loss.
Are there any other red flags you think are indicators that a divorce is near?
Samantha Daniels is a well-known professional matchmaker and relationship expert. She is the President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking, a bicoastal matchmaking service which caters exclusively to busy, successful professionals who have no trouble getting dates, but who have yet to find that one person with whom to spend the rest of their lives. She is also the author of "Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker" (Simon & Schuster). She is a frequently relied upon dating, relationship and romance expert, and is seen regularly on television, on the radio and in national newspapers and magazines. You can follow her on Twitter @Matchmakersd. You can also follow her on her Curator page on OpenSky, where you can get advice and picks for shopping from Celebrities. Her most recent project is The Dating Lounge, the invitation only dating community on Facebook where friends date each other's friends. For more information, go to www.SamanthaDaniels.info.