In Christopher Stoudt’s new short film, “I’m Graysexual,” a young man named Jared explains what it’s like to identify as graysexual, a term which exists under the asexuality umbrella and one he defines as a “magical place between asexual and someone who is sexual.” As The Frisky put it, “asexuality is often thought of as a spectrum, and gray-sexuality is the in-between ― something more fluid between sexuality and asexuality.” Those who identify as graysexual might also identify as gay or straight or any other sexual identity along the binary.
In the clip, Jared, who also identifies as gay, explains, “I used to think I haven’t met the right person but I’ve been with a lot of guys and the experience has been very similar — I want to hold them, I want to kiss them but I don’t want to have sex with them. I don’t want a blow job, I don’t really want to give them a blow job and if they left their underwear on I would be super happy.”
He adds, “I hate that I thought of myself as broken. I don’t want to fix myself. I think I’m fine.”
In an email to The Huffington Post, Stoudt noted, “It’s not that graysexuals are people with low sex-drives who have sex infrequently; graysexuals would be happy to never have sex again, as long as they live. In this video, you spend a night seeing the world through someone else’s eyes and see the world in a way that you might not have knew existed. They like to miss, they like to snuggle, they like human contact, and might even enjoy masturbating alone… but they don’t want to have sex. It’s not on their agenda.”
Stoudt added that he wanted to make the video to reach others who might feel the way that Jared does but didn’t realize there was a term for how they identify.
“It’s a relatively new label that, twenty years ago, might have been written off and discounted… but with the power of the internet today to connect people and bring people together, those who don’t view their sexuality as a black-and-white distinction are able to form a community around a label,” he said. “Asexuality is all about empowering people with whatever label they feel comfortable with, and I wanted to make a video that gave validity to the graysexual term in the hopes of re-affirming those who felt this way.”
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