Yesterday, my car was stolen.
Well, not exactly. It was more like misplaced.
It went something like this…
My kids and I decided to stop over at our favorite local bakery and have ourselves a mid-day treat. Usually we walk there, but, since it had been drizzling all afternoon and my daughter didn’t want to get rain on her new rainboots, we decided to drive instead.
They each got a blueberry muffin and I had a coffee. (It was my 4th of the day, but don’t tell anyone.)
After about 15 minutes, my girls became antsy and wanted to leave, so we grabbed our umbrellas and our barely-nibbled-on muffins and began our short walk home.
“It’s Raining, It’s Pouring,” the girls sang to the amusement of the few pedestrians who passed by.
When we got home, the three of us were so exhausted, we all went to bed without baths, and I’m pretty sure no one bothered to change.
*****
Early the next morning, my daughter – ever the early riser – came sprinting into my room.
“Mommy, mommy, where’s the car? I need my purse.”
“What do you mean? It’s in the garage.”
“No. It’s not.”
“What?!” I asked/yelled, leaping out of bed.
After confirming that my car was, indeed, missing from the garage and that my husband hadn’t inexplicably moved it during the night, I jumped to the most il-logical conclusion: IT HAD BEEN STOLEN.
Yes, my old, smelly car that hadn’t seen the inside of a carwash in over a year had been stolen from the inside of our closed garage. Makes total sense.
An hour later a policeman stopped by to get a description of my vehicle.
“You say it’s black with a small dent on the bumper and rear side door?” he asked.
“Yes," I responded.
“And it has two car seats in the back and smells like rotting cheese?” he confirmed.
“Yes, sir!" I said.
“Ok, we will keep an eye out and get back to you if we locate the vehicle.”
I couldn’t believe this was happening. What kind of a person steals a car with toys, diapers, and car seats so obviously displayed on the inside?
The answer is… literally no one.
10 minutes later I got a call from the same policeman. He had located my car.
“Ma’am, I found your stolen vehicle in a coffee shop parking lot around the corner from your house.”
“Oooh. Riiight…… Did you also catch the person who stole it?”
Policeman: SILENT
“Ok, so I may have parked there yesterday and totally forgot. Listen, this has been a looong summer and I’m doing the best I can,” I admitted, mortification oozing from my voice.
“It’s okay, ma’am. Happens all the time.”
Except we all know that this never happens. He was just trying to keep a mom on the edge of a breakdown from completely losing it. God bless him.
So here is what I learned the day my car was NOT STOLEN.
Don’t jump to conclusions.
Get more sleep.
And it is highly unlikely that anyone will ever want to steal any parent's toy-filled and crumb-infested car.