Last week, a guy I know told me he was sick and tired of walking into drug stores and getting blinded by pink and red.
So he created Ban Valentine's Day.
The idea was to let people spell out why they think the prostitute of holidays should be abolished.
And to let them send sardonic Valentine e-cards to friends.
So far there have been hundreds of posts--about everything from Hallmark's commercial sliminess, to the frustrations of the romantically challenge, to secret adulteries.
What ARE some of the reasons Valentine's Day be banned?
Because I'm jealous of other people having sex.
Because I get fat from eating all the chocolate.
Because I hate pink.
Because the initials for Valentine's Day are V.D.
Because I convinced my boyfriend to drop a lot of cash on dinner, and I'm cheating on him.
Because we're all going to get laid off, EVERYONE!
Because I can't have a romantic evening with all three girlfriends at the same time. They'd find out.
Because love is just a result of synaptic connections within our brain. Why don't we celebrate Science Day?
Because that b*tch Lucy will continue to pull that football away at the last possible second.
Because Hallmark raped my mom.
Go to BanValentinesDay.com to share your reasons. Misery and scorn love company.
Oh, and other Hallmark holidays--beware.