Our thoughts either energize us or deplete us. Many of us are addicted to the self-judgment that deplete us by energizing our ego wounded self.
Why does the ego wounded self monkey mind keep putting out negativity, even if you try so hard to stay connected with love and truth? Because the energy of the ego wounded self comes from trying to have control over getting pleasure and avoiding pain, which it often does through self-judgment. It believes that if we judges us enough, we will do want we have to do to get pleasure and avoid pain. It becomes addicted to the negativity of self-judgment.
The ego wounded self gets its energy - its very life - from negativity. Without negativity, the wounded self does not exist. At those times when you are very connected and "in the flow", the wounded self is not functioning - but it doesn't like not functioning. So it will start in with its litany of negativity and self-judgment whenever it can. At those times that you are not consciously choosing to be loving to yourself, or when an outside situation triggers old fear, it can easily move in. You might soon find yourself feels depleted and not understand why.
For example, you awaken in the middle of the night or the early morning. You try to go back to sleep but suddenly a thought pops into your mind:
"Oh my God, I've made the wrong decision, and now it's too late. This is going to be a disaster."
"I've got to find a way to earn more money."
"I will start my diet in the morning."
And so on. You are off and running, filled with anxiety before you can stop yourself.
Or, someone important to you is cold, distant or unresponsive. You feel a pang of pain and then your programmed mind gets going:
"I must have done something wrong again."
"He or she doesn't find me attractive anymore now that they've gotten to know me."
"I'm going to end up alone."
Or, you think that your boss has been ignoring you, and it's is easy for the wounded self to take this personally:
"They have discovered that I'm inadequate. I'm just not good enough for this job."
"I don't have enough charisma. I'm too quiet. They don't like me anymore at this company."
Once the programmed mind of the ego wounded self gets going, it can go from one negative thought to another, gaining energy for itself with each new false belief. The worse you feel the more the wounded self is in control. The wounded self feels safe when you decide that all these negative thoughts are the real truth. Soon you feel anxious and depleted of energy.
The wounded self loses it's sense of control when we open to learning with our higher self and invite in love, compassion, acceptance, gratitude and forgiveness. The wounded self does not like these feelings since these feelings energize our loving adult self and rob the wounded self of the negative energy it thrives on.
While we create the negative feelings of anger, fear, anxiety, hurt, guilt, shame, depression and aloneness by our own thoughts and behavior, the positive feelings of love, compassion, inner peace, gratitude and forgiveness are not generated from within our bodies. These feelings ARE Spirit and we experience them when we are open to learning with our higher self. Our intent to learn about loving ourselves is the invitation to Spirit to enter our beings. Our choice to learn about loving is, therefore, the key to experiencing positive feelings.
The quickest way to move out of the negativity of the wounded self and into energizing the loving adult is to invite in compassion for the wounded self. Embracing the wounded self with deep compassion instantly moves us out of negativity and into connection. When we choose a compassionate intent to learn about the false beliefs of our wounded self, we immediately shift our energy from negative to positive. The more we do this, the more we are energized.
If, every time you feel any negative feelings, you immediately open to compassion and learning about the false beliefs of your wounded self, you will discover that the energy of the wounded self gets smaller and smaller. At some point, it doesn't have enough energy to pull you down, even in the middle of the night!
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