Washington parks are dotted with bronzed warriors, each perched upon his mount, charging forth to battle. Legend has it that there is an "artist's code" when it comes to depicting heroes and horses. If one hoof is raised, the hero was wounded in battle; two hooves, he died in battles; and four down, he "died in his four-poster," according to historian Joseph Brodsky.
For any Bush portrayal, I propose that all four feet be off the ground--thus, the flying horseman, soaring above disasters, leaping over environmental regulations, and lunging blithely into deficit land, chain-saw in hand, shearing taxes hither and yon.
Then again, I don't recall seeing our President on a horse. Maybe the sculptor could substitute a bicycle with one rim dented, signifying an occasional spill in the line of duty.
One of the most inept figures ever to be depicted on horseback was Gen. Jubilation T. Cornpone, the Dogpatch character featured astride his steed with sword held high.
The hapless town "hero" of the Li'l Abner comic strip and musical is credited with single-handedly bringing down the Confederacy with his many clumsy military engagements, including Cornpone's Retreat, Cornpone's Disaster, and Cornpone's Rout.
With few notables to choose from, the incompetent Southern general was the best the Dogpatchers could boast.
I think it's time to commemorate George W. Bush in some statuesque way for his bungling. Yes, the President deserves recognition for heroic incompetence so brilliantly displayed during the Second Battle of New Orleans, the Capitol Hill Standoff of 2007, and the Baghdad Surge.
I know the GOP faithful have already ponied up for a splendid presidential library. But does a large book collection capture the essence of the real George W. Bush? There is more, so much more. We owe it to our children to provide a visual and thoughtful portrayal of his misdeeds.
And, besides, why should we let big Republican donors have all the fun of interpreting the Bush era? Now's our chance.
You can submit your ideas for appropriate statuary, (or your suggestion for a potential site), to the Committee to Commemorate Presidential Incompetency. Even easier, just offer your thoughts in the comment section below.