No one amongst us has a perfect dating record. We have all made missteps that have caused us to cringe upon reflection. Sometimes these choices will lead to not hearing back from a person again or perhaps simply a fleeting moment of embarrassment. When on point in your interactional techniques, chances are higher that you will get to a third and fourth date thus being able to evaluate the potential for success in a relationship. Often times we are wholly unaware that our words and actions may in fact be hurting, not helping our cause. The insights gained by coaching can go a long way towards smoothing the interpersonal road ahead. Here are some common dating scenarios that people engage in that, when brought to light, will hopefully change one's method of operation.
After a first date, it is polite to text a thank you for the evening (emphasis on "a" text). No need to bombard the other person with constant communications. As well, don't be disappointed if your reaching out is not responded to pronto. Keep cool and realize that another date need not be planned ASAP. Slow and steady wins the race and coming on too strong is often times a turn off. If someone wants to be in touch, they know how to reach you, and will ask you out again.
While courting, calls and texts should not be the primary means of communication. The best way to get to know someone is in person, not by spending hours on the phone nightly. Responding to a text should be short and sweet. This is not the time for long winded Q & A's. Nothing replaces eye contact, reading facial expressions, intimacy and flirting. Talking at length on your cell, texting and sexting are just hours away from each other, which would be much better spent in person.
Don't over share on social media. Avoid posting pics from your dates on Facebook, Instagram, etc. Simply put, there is no upside to letting people know about the details of your personal life (It's personal. Keep it that way) Bear in mind that dating is a fluid process and until someone becomes a fixture in your life, today's news becomes yesterday's quickly. Note that once you are Facebook friends, your history becomes public to the person you are dating, so try to keep your wall PG 13. Discretion is one of the most underrated, yet valuable traits.
Conversation should be a 50/ 50 split. Be conscious not to talk about yourself the whole time and try to avoid bringing up past relationship woes or other Debbie Downer topics. Keep everything positive and make sure to ask plenty of questions about the other person. This is your opportunity to determine if he/she is, in fact, a good fit for you. Remember God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason!!
Look your best, but don't over do it. It is not necessary to be totally bejeweled or over exposed with your cleavage or chest hair. You want the focus to be eyes up, not down. The sexiest part of a person is their brain. Nothing trumps intellectual stimulation.
No one wants to feel that they are always expected to pick up the tab. In the beginning, it is good form to offer to split the bill, even if the other person insists on paying, at least they feel that you tried in earnest. Reciprocity goes a long way. If someone buys the movie tickets, the other one can sport for the popcorn and candy. The same goes for dinners. If you meet early, one person can pick up the bar tab and the other the meal.
Dating does not have to be a minefield. It is all about tweaking your methodology here and there so that you are able to clearly get across to the other person, who you are and what you are all about, without bravado or the need to self market. Getting to know each other is a process. People are like onions. You have to peel back the layers to reveal what exists within.