To be human means to forgive. Again. And again and again and again! To forgive yourself and others, repeatedly!
And yet, when are we ever given lessons on forgiveness before there is some horrible thing we have to forgive? If we are lucky, we observe it being modeled by our parents.
Understand the bigger picture
Understanding the larger spiritual nature of the world and having some sense that the world is not all about us and our egos gives us more tolerance, so there is less we have to forgive!
Understanding can often make forgiveness either unnecessary or easier.
If we all wore invisible "forgiving glasses," it might remind us to be more discerning, live more consciously, be more aware of the spiritual activity going on around us all the time, and to work with that, rather than focus only on ourselves!
We can focus on doing the work of fulfilling our life purpose -- to be joyful, connect, make a difference, serve others, grow, develop and become wiser!
Taking offense!
Do you easily "take" offense? Is it easy for people to do something you have to forgive? If so, it's time to work out why! Do you feel a victim?
In some cases you may truly be, and our job is to step up, to believe we are worth more, set boundaries and safely make a stand and move on if the conditions continue.
More commonly, we adopt a victim "mentality" to avoid having to face up to our own growth "work." We claim helplessness rather than courageously looking at our role in this situation and making the changes we need to.
If you are not a victim, why do you feel so offended? What is at the source of your reaction? Dig deeply -- it's worth it! What fear is driving it? That you are not good enough and someone will find out? That you are not worth loving? Or do you feel unsafe in some way or fear separation?
These are core fears that your inner toddler developed when you were a toddler, and they now rule your habits and patterns. Only when you become aware of your fears and shine a light on them can you have more choices in your life and change it.
True understanding and forgiveness will result in us being less self-centered, more accepting, more responsible for our own actions and contributions, fair, less judgmental, more patient, more compassionate, gracious and so on!
Your story
Forgiveness begins in our perceptions, which create the story we tell ourselves about what happened to us. It's the story that determines if we feel offended or not and cements our belief of whether we have to forgive or be forgiven.
Understanding allows us to separate our story from truth! It is impossible to forgive without our perceptions being changed -- that's where the understanding comes in.
We don't see reality, we perceive and judge! That judgment then affects or creates our story and boom, there we are, we have been wounded, offended by that awful person, and our whole physiology is harmed.
The person whom you perceive as the transgressor is meanwhile feeling just fine! Forgiveness is more about you and more for you than anyone else.
Mahatma Gandhi said, "If we practice and eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless." If we see only a tiny part of the true reality of things, then that is how we think -- we want an "eye for an eye" in modern-day terms. We want someone to "pay, to be punished" for what they did.
It never works! We are the ones who end up hurting more and we make others blind and toothless with us.
The alchemical heart
Forgive -- it frees your spirit! And it happens in your heart. If you can practice dropping your consciousness or attention to your heart and "thinking" from there, a whole new dimension will open up for you!
The heart is an alchemical vessel in which all sorts of base "metals" of anger, resentment, fear, and pain are transmuted into the gold of forgiveness, love and freedom!
We are so head-based in many of our Western cultures, we have forgotten to tap into the wisdom in our hearts. When we live from our hearts, we don't need to forgive nearly as much!
Even if people do the same things, we understand better and have more compassion then offense.
Another way to forgive -- Zoots
My mother taught me a great way to forgive after I had heard Dr. Paul Pearsall speak at a conference. He had taught us that when we send loving thoughts to someone else, we actually boost the other persons immune system -- and our own!
I taught Mum this when it was a time she needed to forgive someone close to her. But neither of us knew how to send love practically. So she invented "zoots."
After my step-dad passed over, she was devastated and then angry over some things that happened. After I had told her she had to send love, we didn't discuss it again. Two weeks later when I arrived home from taking her to the airport, I found a note on my pillow. A beautiful note that told me what a great daughter I was and how much she loved me. Yes, it made me cry!
And at the bottom she had drawn a great big heart on one side and a great big heart on the other side and a whole lot of little hearts in between.
Those little hearts -- each one a zoot -- were her way of sending love to me. Now, I use them to send love to everyone and teach others how to send love to the ones they love!
Imagine a string of little hearts flowing from yours to any one elses -- even distressed children in planes or sick relatives or friends in other places.
Zoots ignore time and space! They can flow freely at any time to any one -- you just have to consciously send them!
So there is your mission for this blog!
• To seek to understand and appreciate the bigger spiritual nature of everything.
• To change your perceptions and story and level of "offensibility!"
• To drop to your heart and operate from its wisdom and discernment.
• And above all, to zoot everyone you love -- and everyone you needs some love and forgiveness!
• Teach your children and grandchildren and any other children you know about zoots -- it's a great, valuable lesson for a joy-filled life!
Zooties from me (they are SPECIAL zoots my Mum used to send to me)
Amanda Gore
Watch Amanda talk about zoots on this video clip.
Amanda Gore