In the paradise island of Trinidad, where status quo is everything and people are loving, kind and most often chained to their ways of thinking, doing things the ways they have always been done, where everyone is just trying to fit in and free thought, though present, is often not voiced for fear of being excluded, there lived a young woman whose self identity would throw this beautiful twin isle's societal norms into a tizzy of ill-formed and informative commentary. In the land where carnival is coming, people are getting fit, figuring out what fetes they are going to and what Monday wear they are wearing while the rest of the world struggles with propaganda and terrorism, where the murder rate is sky high because the youths are losing hope in their future and their lives, this curious event occurred.
This fiasco would lead to new discoveries of great thinkers and sadly, reminders of un-evolved thought patterns. Thought patterns that allow others to make themselves feel better by laughing at another fellow Trini's mistreatment and because it didn't happen to them; and since they don't do things outside the norm, so it most likely wouldn't happen to them, they can feel better knowing that at least, they wouldn't be excluded or rejected for that said reason.
Apparently, some folks think that what happened to this young lady at a nightclub is irrelevant. I, however, have been baffled and intrigued by the sequence of events of that fated night. I have been in two minds about it and that rarely happens. I usually have a strong feeling about whatever I am thinking, so much so that I have to be aware not to go overboard in conversations or try not to overreact because I am so invested in whatever the topic may be. But this particular situation had me at odds. As the story goes, a female individual dressed in attire that would be considered male by society's so-called standards, attempted entrance to Aria nightclub where females were allowed in free before and up to 10pm. Her accompanying friend was allowed in without exception; however, the club proceeded to allow her entrance only if she paid the male admission fee of $120 TT. Sentiments that I have been exposed to mostly were of the opinion 'if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, then it is a duck' coupled with, "And she want to be a man, let she pay the man price". Although these comments made me uncomfortable, I could see their point. I mean, if you want to portray yourself as male, why not pay the male price? Do you only want to be a woman when it's convenient? But the more jokes I heard and read about the situation, the more uncomfortable I got. I couldn't put my finger on it but this point of view was not sitting well with me.
My process concerning something on my mind is if it is bothering me or on my mind for two days or more, then I need to do some self searching, I need to figure out why it's bothering me and after much self evaluating it came to me. The nightclub, myself or anyone else for that matter, do not get to define another person or individual. We do not get to decide if another person self identifies as female or not, or what a female should look like by any means. Not only do we not get to do this for anyone but ourselves, but we do not get to dictate when or how a person claims their own womanhood. My womanhood is mine to claim as I see fit, as is hers; so how dare I try to tell another woman how she should define herself and express that definition.
Yes, my fellow Trinis, I know it's easier if everyone stays in their expected places, if nobody challenges the way of life and just goes with the flow, and just does what is expected. The thing is and I learned this the hard way, complacency does not bring growth or progression, and as uncomfortable as change is and sometimes painful, it most times leads to better understanding and compassion for others.
Protests outside Aria Nightclub in December. Pic from Carnival Central TV Facebook.
Arguments have been made to the effect that there was a dress code, that they reserve the right to refuse entry and as the nightclub's statement itself stated, they were of the opinion she looked like or portrayed a man but they did not say that she was a man. But to me, the act of charging her as a man disqualifies the above statement because the act points in the direction of defining her as a man. I mean to me, it's clear as day and I am not an attorney or a legal buff.
The discussion about the club management being able to refuse entry is null as they did not refuse entry but instead chose to charge her as a man. The same goes for the dress code argument; they didn't deny her entry because of her dress code, however vague said dress code may have been, they again, as I have said repeatedly charged her as a man, when she did not at that moment self identify as one.
And there it is, the root of my thinking: self expression is one's own to express as one sees fit, no matter how confusing and annoying it maybe to others. I wonder if Jaden Smith were to attend Aria in a dress or a skirt if his manhood would be questioned and as such be allowed in free before 10 pm, inquiring minds want to know. Just as in the case of Caitlyn Jenner, I thoroughly support her right to express herself as she pleases.