To Love, Honor And Annoy

When you make a commitment to someone you're making a commitment to put up with another person's weird quirks.
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"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
-Rita Rudner

When you get married, you vow to love your spouse for better or worse. Most people think this means you support each other through the big things in life -- getting sick, going broke, or your dog throwing up all over the house. I think what it really means is you need to love your spouse for their better habits, along with their worse habits. When you make a commitment to someone you're making a commitment to put up with another person's weird quirks forever. I think these quirks can make marriages stronger. My husband can be the king of dumb/weird behaviors; then again, I'm sure he thinks I'm the queen.

Every morning we go into the kitchen together to make breakfast and every morning he grabs the carton of milk and takes a swig. I have told him I find it gross, he has seen my face contort into a nauseous expression, yet every morning he does it. He thinks it's hilarious that it bugs me, because to him, there's no logic that comes into play. There's the milk, there's his mouth, and why put a glass between them? It's not that he's trying to be mean to me; it's that this is who he is and marrying me wasn't going to change that. Many things can change over time in a good marriage, but usually these are major things. Like learning how to communicate better, working through parenting issues or figuring out how to fight fair. However, the chances that the clothes will finally make the hamper, the wet towel will not be on the bed, or there won't be crumbs on the sink are probably not going to change. Unless you have a spouse with OCD and then all bets are off. So, I've learned to laugh about it and buy my own milk.

Don't get me wrong, I'm far from perfect; I also have my share of quirks. I've always been a big believer that the moment you get out of bed in the morning it needs to be made. And this goes for anyone getting out of bed, whether it is my husband, my kids or even the dog. My husband doesn't understand this, because he thinks, "Why would you make a bed you are only going to get back in 15 hours later?" That logic might work for some, but for me, it's make the bed or lose my mind. So, every morning when my husband gets up, even if it is to just go put his mouth on the milk carton, I make the bed. He might be gone all day or coming back in three minutes, but I'm up and he's gone, so that means the bed should be made. After I'm done, I jump in the shower and he, half asleep and slightly disheveled with milk on his lips, is confronted by a smoothed comforter and shams perfectly arranged in a House Beautiful moment. As he faces this made bed, he's once again reminded that he is married to someone slightly neurotic and a piece of him is laughing. Probably the piece that jumps back in the bed and destroys my hard work just to get five more minutes of shut eye.

Everyone has parts of their personality that are not going to change just because they get married. Instead of letting it bother you, think of it as something special. Your spouse's quirky behaviors are for your eyes only, something neither of you share with anyone else. I look at my marriage and realize there are worse things we could do to each other than make a bed or drink out of the milk carton. We respect each other's opinions, we support each other's careers and we truly like each other, so it's easy to laugh off the little things that happen in our household. And with all the little things, we are laughing quite a lot.

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