As a 16-year-old high school student, my junior year, I transferred schools three times. It wasn't a performance issue, I was actually quite smart and maintained good grades; and smart enough to do exactly what the dumbasses were doing without getting caught. I inhaled plenty of weed before class, had my connections for liquor, regularly ditched 4th period, borrowed cars without a license and smoked more cigarettes than anyone at an AA convention; all while maintaining a 3.5 GPA.
Was it cool? Absolutely not. Looking back, I'm lucky to be alive. With changing schools often, 12 times between K-12, I always had to make new friends and it was a lot easier to be THAT GUY than boring old Jon. And once you become THAT GUY, you are responsible for always being THAT GUY, making it almost impossible to change course and get back on the right track. The consolation prize to being THAT GUY is living with the knowledge I could have done better, a lot better. Would life be better? I don't know, there are no promises. What I do know is that I'd feel better about investing into myself at a younger age, rather than saving my lunch money for 12-pack of Keystone Light and some smokes, just so other kids thought I was cool.
Yesterday I asked my fans on Facebook, "If you could go back to give your 16 year old self one piece of advice, what would you say?" I wasn't expecting a lot of response but it kind of blew up. Mostly from women, I put together a list of the most popular things 30somethings would say to their teenage self. The minor changes made are grammatical, which brings us to the first piece of advice:
SCREW HIGH SCHOOL. GET TO COLLEGE!
Jennifer S. says, "Don't drop out and work harder because college at 30 sucks."
Charlie R. says, "Stay single, and go to college!"
Jeremy S. says, "Don't take a year off after graduating high school so you can save up money to work on your motorcycle. Go straight to college and never look back."
If you're going to jack up your education, don't do it in high school. Wait until you get to college; that's where all the real fun begins. If you thought river parties and beer bongs were a hoot, now picture everyone wearing togas and underwear. You're going to want to do your absolute best in high school or you're going to miss out on new relationships from around the world. Plus, you're probably going to need to pay for college so you might take it a little more seriously. Get in and out as fast as you can.
SPEAKING OF RELATIONSHIPS
Katy K. says, "Don't listen to him. Boys are stupid."
Melany A. & Michele S. both say, "Don't date him!"
Paula L. says, "Date more people and don't get stuck on that one guy."
Jennifer R. says, "...and don't worry about spending time with my [sic] boyfriend!"
Being THAT GUY, I can honestly tell you that they are right. It's not just guys though, there are plenty of toxic relationships you might subject yourself to. Don't worry, this will continue throughout your life and one day you're going to wake up and say to yourself, "What the hell am I doing with him/her?" You'll become choosy of who you hang out with, and you'll become aware of the true value in meaningful relationships. For now, kick him/her to the curb so you can focus on the next area of your life, which is:
WALK TO THE BEAT OF YOUR OWN GUITAR
Kelly E. says, "Think for yourself and think independently. Find your passion and give it 100%!"
Lisa B. says, "Pursue a music career."
Johanna R. says, "Don't look back; there is a big world outside of this small town! Go see it; single!"
My passion was baseball, I was good and I loved the game. At 13, I tore a major ligament in my knee playing the game and though I made it to All Stars the year after, it pretty much forced me into early retirement. Baseball was the one thing that, no matter what any of my friends did or said about it, I didn't care what they thought. I loved it that much. For you, it might be sports, or music, or art, or technology... it doesn't matter. Whatever the passion, do it. Do not let anyone hold you back from pursuing your passion, especially yourself.
LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS
Sara J. says, "That my dad really was looking out for my best interest even if he did it in an a-hole-ish way. And don't get that haircut."
Ashlee O. says, "Don't give your parents a hard time, be grateful and humble."
Nicole C. says, "Your mom and your family must know something better than you do."
You might think your parents are the devil, and as far as I know, they could be. Now, if they're beating the crap out of you, causing physical harm and you feel your safety is in jeopardy, talk to your school counselor or get help; seriously. Other than that, talk to your parents - even if you think you might get in trouble, they're going to respect your honesty and trust me, they'll get over it. You might not feel it but your parents are actually on the same team here. The assumption that they are some sort of enemy combatant is all in your head. And if you build this trust, they might tell you about that one time they went to a Grateful Dead concert and dropped acid and that's how you were conceived. Okay, maybe not.
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS TO TAKE WITH YOU
Sheryl W. says, "The pain of life will not kill you. Find the beauty."
Dana P. says, "Everything is going to be okay."
Lisa B. says, "...back yourself 100% because you're going to have an awesome adventure in this life."
Becky P. says, "Quit worrying about everything and you are not fat!"
You will always be good enough but you're going to go through moments when it's hard to believe. Maybe you made a mistake, maybe you told a lie, or maybe you just got caught forging your parents' signatures on your absent slips but regardless of the situation, all the problems you encounter can be made as good as gold. How you perceive life is within your head; how you live it is within your feet.
And if you're having sex not because you want to but because of THAT GUY, you're going to have a bad time. There's plenty of good sex down the road, and sometimes on the side of the road, but for now, use protection no matter what - don't let anyone convince you otherwise - and you're going to be just fine.