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To the Dads Who Are Supermen -- I See You

Both men and women should be held to the same expectations of responsibility when they create a child together.
04/22/2016 10:09am ET | Updated April 23, 2017
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Father and Son Laughing

Yet another article about mothers! Dads are never represented here!

I saw a comment like this recently while reading a parenting article. The person commenting went on to say that it seemed like all the articles and blogs on the internet regarding parenting were primarily focused on moms and the plight of motherhood.

Fair enough.

I would say that a huge percentage of the online blogging content in the parenting world is most definitely shifted in the direction of a mother's point of view about birth, babies, toddlers, and beyond. Much of the content is indeed written by women -- like myself.

I know that Mother's Day is coming up and the internet will be flooded with tributes to mothers who are with us and who have passed on. But there are men in this world being fantastic dads. Some of them even have their own blogs, which -- if you read them -- are pretty dead-on and amazing. Perhaps dads don't get the attention they deserve all the time.

Well, I'm here to change that. At least for one man. My husband.

When my husband's son (now my brilliant stepson) was very young, his dad told him a little fib. He told him he was Superman. He explained to his son that he had to give up his super powers in order to be a dad. Silly, right?

Only his son believed him. Wholeheartedly.

Fast forward several years and my stepson is on the verge of becoming a teenager. He realizes now, of course, that his dad was never Superman.

But the thing is -- his dad kind of is Superman.

I've never met a man more loving, generous, playful, strong, and hard-working. It's not hard to believe that my husband's son would think that his father had super powers.

Single fathers, stepfathers, adoptive fathers, and fathers in general do need more consideration. In this world, a man is expected to be a man, maintain strength, composure, and financial stability without complaint.

Oftentimes men who become fathers didn't get a great role model for what a father should be like growing up. I doubt most men ever expect to become full-time single dads, as my husband was for many years. I doubt most women plan on becoming single parents either.

Both men and women should be held to the same expectations of responsibility when they create a child together. But it seems society has become complacent in its standards of fathers compared to mothers. While we seem to expect that a mother should sacrifice everything for her child, many of us are not surprised when a man doesn't do his part accordingly.

That being said, when a single mother works her tail off to support her children, she is usually given her due credit, but when a single father does the same, we tend to just nod and move on. It's a strange contradiction and double standard.

The modern reality is that single dads who have custody of their children -- for whatever reasons -- are on the rise. These guys are struggling with a good amount of the same issues as single moms are.

I am a stepparent, so let's touch on this too. Every day the numbers of empowered stepmoms who are writing books, blogging, creating forums, and building empires of support for other stepmoms are growing. Quite often, stepdads get left out. It's not necessarily done on purpose, but more likely due to a lack of exposure.

Not a lot of stepdads are exposing their feelings for the world to see. But I know they're all going through it, just like us stepmoms. The same goes for a lot of biological dads. They just do their thing, quietly being great dads.

My husband is probably the most amazing father a child could ever have. He's not perfect, but he tries. He's involved. He worries. He learns. He disciplines. He laughs. He's a parent. He just doesn't feel the need to express his feelings about it or blog about his trials and tribulations. And he has been through many.

So I'm dedicating this to my husband, my own father, and all the other men out there who are fabulous parents.

In a world where nothing happens if it's not on the internet and everyone is competing to express their angst in the most poetic, meaningful way, dads don't always put their stuff out there.

But I see the super dads. They are changing diapers, carrying babies in baby bjorns, transporting sticky toddlers on their shoulders, styling their daughters' hair, and getting their hands dirty in the beautiful mess that is raising kids.

Superman is awesome. But so are a lot of dads.

Originally a Vancouver Island native, Michelle now resides in California where she is an ex-corporate slave, writer, artist, mother, stepmother, & wife.

Join Michelle as she explores & stumbles through society, parenting, step-parenting, health, beauty, relationships & much more.

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