To The Heartbroken: Where Does Love Go When We Break Up?


People are confusing heartbreak with anger, sadness, or 'obsession' of past love gone. Let me correct you, this world is obsessed with love: you, me, him, her. People who are not heartbroken are obsessed with love -- with keeping it.

So, the heartbroken aren't a disease that can't be cured -- the heartbroken are the strongest most beautiful misunderstood group. They have loved and lost, been alone and grown.

They search for many answers, especially: "Where does our love go when we break up?" -- humans crave closure.

Love doesn't go away, it doesn't have feet it can't run. Those feelings created, molded for that one person don't disappear overnight, they seem to be left lingering in the air -- nowhere to go, the love is left in a directionless way hoping to find its way back to them, but more so it doesn't make it and you are left heartbroken -- feeling lost, wandering to get back home.

You invested time, emotion & energy into this soul. But remember there is a bond between you and this person that is unique, that is unlike anyone else -- and that love will always be there, not just in you, but in them as well.

What if they have moved on you might ask? You feel hurt, you feel like this person must be better than you, you start to tear yourself apart piece by piece. Let me stop your self-abuse right now. No one can compete with the love you two had.

That new person who you think replaced you -- didn't. You can't be replaced; there will always be only one you. They might try to replicate what you two had, but there is only one original Starry Night and you'll always be the masterpiece foolishly left behind.

Don't think that when they hear that song you sung in the car together or smells that perfume you used to wear, or finds those letters you gave that their heart doesn't flutter, that their mind doesn't race back to your smile, to all the jokes and adventures you went on -- or even simpler when they look at nature and see a sunflower that they don't think of how you radiated in their eyes -- they do.

You are missed, just as you are missing them.

Believe and know that you are enough, love lost is not love failed. I look at you and I don't see someone heartbroken, or obsessed I see someone who loves selflessly and that's the most breathtaking love from the purest soul. You put someone first before yourself. But now it's your turn to tuck that love into the back of your heart and move forward. I know you're in pain, I know you love them and guess what? They love you too.

Sometimes we selfishly break each other because time wasn't on our side, or maybe there is another complicated reason for the way your heart broke.

Whatever happened, remember you are loved, you are beautiful, inside and out -- keep that heart on your sleeve. Go live, really live there is so much to see in this world than just those eyes you crave.

You'll find a new love that surpasses the one who broke you.

Finding a soulmate is beautiful but finding yourself is life changing.

Perhaps loving someone has nothing to do with being with them forever, but caring about them forever. A Selfless love.

And remember if someone asks: "Where does love go when you break up?"
I say the relationship, the friendship might end, but true love never dies, never leaves. It stays living underneath it all.

Originally posted on

This piece and other "Love Letters" will be found in Demetra's first book of poetry Love Letters In The Wall: Agapé Edition coming soon.